Welcome to the BRAG’s weekly rundown of what’s hot in the coming seven days of cinematic releases. There’s some refreshingly original films here that feel like the delightful silver lining on a huge, puffy cloud of repetitive industry dross.
Honourable mention to NZ documentary Poi E, which didn’t quite make the cut. Even though I was incredibly tempted to omit a different film based on the director. Ultimately I chose not to, simply so I had an opportunity to spend my Tuesday ripping him a new one.
Enjoy…
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BOYS IN THE TREES
Too many directors in our local industry dream of making the leap overseas. Maybe it’s because our film initiatives, like all creative industries in Australia, are being systematically gutted. Maybe it’s just where da money at. Maybe it’s because our nostalgia is culturally appropriated, and not in the bad way.
READ our full review of Boys In The Trees here.
Boys In The Trees will be crazy familar to anyone who, like me, grew up in an Aussie country town. The difference is the borrowed Halloween aesthetic, never as big in Australia as it appears here. Hopefully, the adolescent trauma will also be unfamiliar to you.
This drama about the trials and tribulations of adolescent masculinity struggles against a pretentious script, but it’s stylishly directed and emotionally devastating. Plus, the soundtrack is a true blast from the past, and one of the film’s greatest assets.
tl;dr Just remember as you’re watching…
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THE NEON DEMON
RT: 54%
So it’s been certified rotten: I wholly disagree, and that’s the beauty of Nicolas Winding Refn‘s directorial style. Call him what you like, but one thing you can’t deny is that the man is a master at stoking the fires of passionate debate.
READ our full review of The Neon Demon here.
Refn’s spiritual successor to Only God Forgives sees 16-year-old Jesse (Elle Fanning) pursue her dream of becoming a model, in an industry that threatens to eat her alive. It pits her against every threat imaginable, and a whole lot more that wouldn’t occur to the mentally healthy.
This is Refn directing pure horror, and it succeeds at provocation first and foremost. I found it to be one of the director’s best, and a film whose utter superficiality perfectly serves its intentions. Fight me in the comments.
tl;dr Refn expands on his complicated relationship with women.
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JACK REACHER: NEVER GO BACK
The first cinematic outing for Lee Child‘s Jack Reacher featured Tom Cruise in a bog-average action venture about a former cop with nothing to lose. Tired yet?
Reacher’s back in another elbow fest in which this legendary one-man-army has to take on his own government when a friend is set up by ugh i can’t finish this sentence i’m so fucking bored
Go watch John Wick. Or Dredd. Or even Edge Of Tomorrow. Just stop fuelling the machine that keeps shitting out these unappetising, been-there-punched-that yawn-fests.
tl;dr “Someone once told me that time is a flat circle.”
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KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES
Back again, Zach Galifianakis! Busy fella. This time, he’s shacked up with Isla Fisher in marital bliss, upset by the arrival of the overachieving Joneses (Jon Hamm and Gal Gadot) who, it turns out, are legitimate spies.
Best thing about the trailer? Hamm and Gadot look like a live-action Archer. Otherwise this is the midpoint between Mr. & Mrs. Smith and Date Night, subbing in Wonder Woman.
As Patton Oswalt is also making an appearance, this one has earned my extremely tentative enthusiasm. This is your shot, Galifianakis. Don’t choke.
tl;dr I know it won’t be anything like it, but… “live action Archer“.
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OUIJA: ORIGIN OF EVIL
In 2014, Platinum Dunes and Blumhouse Productions came together (FINALLY AMIRITE) to produce Ouija, perhaps the most universally deplored exercise in branded horror in the decade. Now, the sequel no one wanted is here to soak up dem Conjuring dolla$.
Let’s not forget that Hasbro’s name is attached to this turd. You think they’ll push a few more of these stupid boards to a few more gullible fools? You bet your arse they will. And it cost them nothing because the screenplay is just moments from The Exorcist and Insidious mashed together.
Predictions: it will be critically panned, hated by nearly everyone that sees it, and it will make a friggin’ box office mint because no one ever fucking learns.
tl;dr Pictured: production heads at Platinum Dunes.
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CAFÉ SOCIETY
RT: 70%
Esteemed child moles – sorry, award-winning auteur Woody Allen brings us yet another oh-so-witty comedy about urbane high society figures who swap anecdotes about their artistic qualities whilst overlooking each other’s unsavoury histories.
There’s an interesting conversation to be had around venerating the works of artists later revealed to have covered up their crimes: Roman Polanski, Bill Cosby, et cetera. But we’re not talking about Rosemary’s Baby, made before allegations against Polanski were publicised. We’re talking about an ongoing culture of protection around Allen that encourages his fellow artists to support him with their silence.
Is any high-society comedy of manners really worth overlooking the allegations against Allen? Not to mention the fact that Jesse Eisenberg has crimes of his own for which to answer.
tl;dr mfw i mention fact-checked allegations of child abuse and the counter-argument is “but he made annie hall”
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And now for THE VERDICT – maybe you only get to see one of these flicks on the big screen, and you don’t wanna waste that night out. So, drum roll please…
Assuming you’re no Woody Allen apologist, there’s only three sensible choices for your date night – the goofy Keeping Up With The Joneses, the heart-wrenching Boys In The Trees, or the cinematic assault and two-hour conversation-starter that is The Neon Demon.
Until next week!
