You would think metal has already branched out into every conceivable subgenre possible. Hair metal, death metal, party metal, Irish metal and so on. Well, here’s a new one for you: burlesque metal.

What does burlesque metal sound like? Basically like a metal band that’s doing a striptease as it plays. When you listen toToo Loud Too Nakedby Bertie Page Clinic, you cannot help but imagine Bertie Page dancing with enormous feather fans while singing about working girls, shoes, nudity, and “a bitch with Swarovskis coming out her ass”. Drummer Tim Price smashes away as he gives you ‘the look’. Leon van Lieshout makes inappropriate gestures with his bass, and guitarist John Meyer delivers face-melting notes while the nipple tassels swirl.

And, much like a burlesque act, the band sounds like it’s performing as much for its own enjoyment as the listener’s. What the album lacks in polish and intensity it makes up with enthusiasm and cheer, and you can’t help but laugh.

If you’re into either metal or burlesque, then this is the album for you. And if you are a burlesque performer, then you may just find your anthem.

3.5/5 stars

Too Loud Too Naked is out now on Crazy Cat Lady Records/Beast Records.

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