I don’t know how and I don’t know why, but every so often I hear a moaning beneath the earth and watch, horrified, as a bloated Mark Latham crawls out of the dirt to say something fucking useless.

Latham’s latest take on gay people is that there simply aren’t enough of us to warrant marriage equality. The same way that, if there are only two slaves instead of 2 million, slavery is dandy and of no moral consequence.

I fail to see why this person keeps getting airtime. He’s illogical and an alarmist, going so far as to declare Safe Schools a “Marxist gender theory program” in between calling a schoolboy “gay” on television and also insisting that there are such a small number of gender diverse people it shouldn’t even be an issue.

The Australian media should hold public figures accountable for the diarrhoea gushing from their mouths on every sad morning show appearance.

Why does the Australian media keep eagerly stuffing the microphone down this guy’s throat? His opinions aren’t based on any evidence at all. It’s like he just glanced at the census and it was all he needed to make the judgment that such a small segment of the population doesn’t matter enough to have rights.

“These numbers don’t lie,” Latham said, ‘The truth is, in Australia we’ve got just 47,000 same-sex couples, so why the big national debate? The big national obsession in the political system with same-sex marriage?”

This shortcut to actual thinking is interesting to me, in that no journalist speaking to the man has bothered to call it out. I mean you could say, well buddy, since it’s such a tiny issue then why not just legalise gay marriage and move on with our lives? That’d be nice.

Or perhaps we could delve further into this phantasmagorical logic – Mr Latham, perhaps since disabled people are the minority, we shouldn’t bother with parking provisions or specially equipped public bathrooms or ramps. I mean it’d be silly to waste resources on such a tiny sliver of society, right?

Latham’s obnoxiousness is difficult to stomach. I’d be all ears if someone conservative or otherwise against gay marriage tried to articulate an argument that was reasonable, but this dim-witted argument is just too much. I initially thought it was satire.

It’s like he just glanced at the census and it was all he needed to make the judgment that such a small segment of the population doesn’t matter enough to have rights.

The Australian media should hold public figures accountable for the diarrhoea gushing from their mouths on every sad morning show appearance. Somebody needs to stop that shit, seriously. We’re foolish for entertaining such irrational viewpoints with the same respect we accord people who make actual sense when they speak.

Give Mark Latham and his feeble-minded arguments a good rinse. He surely needs it.

If this is all too depressing, remember that a week ago, Vatican police went to a priest’s house after a neighbour’s noise complaint, only to find the most debauched. drug-fuelled gay orgy of all time in full swing.

It’s always funny when the homophobes get caught with their pants down.

A snap from the Heaps Gay party archive, with three revellers in various states of undress.

This week…

On Saturday July 15, HEAPS GAY is hosting a super secret basement party somewhere in Marrickville. The venue will be revealed on the day of the event, so you can find out by keeping tabs on the event page via Facebook. This party features Brisbane kqween Sezzo Snot, gender-bending duo Tribade Marinade, drag king god Jayvante Swing, pop prince Nic Kelly, boylesque magic by Joshwaa James, Show Us Your Teeth Queen, Amy Claire Mills going solo & more surprises. No door sales, tickets online only.

On Saturday July 22, head over to the Imperial Hotel in Erskineville for GiRLTHING’s final Imperial party, The Last Dance! It’ll be a big send off and can’t be missed. Featuring the always amazing GiRLTHING DJs, Canberra’s Gay Cliché, SnaggleTooth, Amie Hess, Cherry Buttonz and Bettie Bandit with more to be announced. Tickets are available now.

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