You know when your friends say some rubbish that makes you question their entire moral character and subsequently your judgement?

A friend and I were having lunch recently and she said, “I’ve never been into Asian girls, I just don’t get the appeal.”

This sentence continued but I didn’t hear the rest. I was mesmerised by the thin, glossy string of saliva stretching between her lips and her fork as she ate her salad and treated me to some of the most ignorant English I’d ever heard.

“It’s just my personal preference.” I’ve seen many a Grindr user swinging that platitude around like a righteous machete, ruthlessly cutting down people of colour or otherwise non-white persons as if they’re immune against criticisms of racism. This is fundamentally a racist thing to say. It is a racist practice to treat somebody differently because of their race. You’re a racist. Overcome it by pulling your head out of your arse.

As my friend flapped her big stupid racist lips, I wondered why she felt it was safe to say something like that to me. Maybe she didn’t know. Or realise. How stupid was she not to realise? I realised my food was getting cold. I asked her, “Don’t you think what you just said is racist?”

She said no and went on to explain why. I didn’t listen to the explanation, because as far as I was concerned, this friendship had taken a bullet in the cheek.

As my friend flapped her big stupid racist lips, I wondered why she felt it was safe to say something like that to me.

My friend’s reluctance to get sexy with Asian chicks isn’t so much about an innate lack of desire as it is a conditioned response to whatever she’s absorbed as “this is attractive”.

Our concepts of beauty, race and the meanings we attach to sex or gender characteristics are not created by some magical internal provenance that constructs a randomised list of things that turn you on.

We can’t ignore that there is a biological government at work here. Things like sexual orientation can be biologically determined but the rest of it is just window dressing tacked on by whatever society you’ve experienced your enculturation in.

You can’t explain this to racists because they think like insects.

Take a look at what your society or culture values, what it deems attractive. Compare those with your own. I’m not suggesting we’re a cabal of racists, just that racism is what we’re subjected to from birth. We’re pickled in it. It’s what we know, it’s what we absorb, it’s what we project.

The kind of person who makes statements like “I’m only into x race” or “I’m not into y race” assumes that their preferences are actually personal. Your preferences are not personal, but everybody likes to think they’re resistant to cultural programming. Warren Ellis said it best: “If you believe that your thoughts originate inside your brain – do you also believe that television shows are made inside your television set?”

This Week

On Wednesday May 17, get down to Slyfox in Enmore for Birdcage, a debaucherously dirty night with your favourite chicks, featuring Mowgli May, CKDJ, Ashleigh Mckenzie and Nicholas Birdcage. This party will be a big one and go late. Admission is free.

On Saturday May 20, The Shift Club hosts Space Invade-Hers, starring Pomara Fifth, Crystal Ball and Kara Divine with Johnny Blue Boy. Your hostess for the evening is the illustrious, fabulous Maxi Shield. The theme of the night is future sex. Go get some.

For The Diary

On Thursday June 1 – Friday June 2, head on down to the City Recital Hall for DJ Dan Murphy’s Vivid Sydney event, Ignite: Symphonic Dance Anthems. Over two nights, a collection of over 60 hand-picked performers including a full symphony orchestra, choir and international vocalists will breathe new life into some of the world’s favourite dance tracks, in a fully immersive visual and acoustic spectacular. Expect lights, lasers and visuals, along with those timeless dance anthems.

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