Valentine’s Day: a bullshit day aimed at exploiting (mostly male) consumers – or is it?
Absolutely it is. But it doesn’t necessarily have to be the same for you Big Daddy. As a dad and husband, here’s 3 strategies to drag something special out of another made-up day aimed at pinching more than a couple of pineapples from your wallet.
There’s a few blokes out there that I can hear muttering in their smug, romantic brains “I don’t do Valentine’s Day because I do something special for her every day”. Yeah, alright Leonardo Di Caprio, putting your dirty clothes in the washing machine isn’t romantic, and try telling her that when every other woman she’s mates with is gushing about what grand romantic gesture her husband committed on the big V-day. Think of V-day as a chance to kick a few thoughtful goals as a husband and dad. Fuck the heart-shaped box of laxative-based chocolates made in China – and while we’re at it, those over-priced under-whelming bunch of wilted roses you ordered over the phone can fuck right off too. Carol the florist has buggered the spelling of your wife’s name and her shitty handwriting is less than genuine. Here’s the rundown on how you can do something special on a ‘really not that special’ kind of day.
The Missus (or other Dad partner – because it is 2019…) loves flowers right?!
Dumb question. So, get her some that aren’t the generic, conformist, red-thorny-pricks in the form of roses. She doesn’t want them any other day of the year, so what makes today any different? A simple bunch of her favourite flowers with a small note that says “Your favourite flowers instead of roses – because every other girl gets roses today and you’re not like every other girl” – this one gets you two for the price of one; she thinks you’re thoughtful because you know what sort of flowers she loves, and you’ve told her she’s important to you.
Now, don’t stop there Romeo… You need to tell her how you feel. Cards are okay, letters are better. Hit her with a letter that tells her why she’s a great wife and a fantastic mum. Don’t leave out a little reference to what you find attractive about her either. Women (especially mums) want to hear that their partners (still) find them sexy; it’ll probably pay you worth-while dividends toward the end of the big day too… And finally, take a pick at something you wouldn’t normally do together – you both cook dinner over a glass of wine, suggest you watch that crap movie she really likes, hold her waist as she pretends to fly on the bow of a doomed cruise ship, or, smother your bodies in ice magic and enjoy dessert together… too graphic? You’re thinking about it though…
Get the other women in your life something special too.
It doesn’t matter if your daughter is one or thirty-one, buying her flowers and writing her a letter does two very important things. It shows her that she’s one of the most important loves in your life and demonstrates what she should expect from the other important men in her life. If she’s a toddler, it strengthens the early bond between you, because whether you’re aware of it or not, you’re her first true love. If she’s a teenager, it reminds her that despite her Dad being the worst enemy (her words) at times, you still love her and care about her. If she’s in her twenties, she’ll be reminded that chivalry isn’t, in fact, dead, and any bloke who doesn’t buy her flowers is a self-absorbed wanker.
Don’t forget the young chip off the ol’ block.
It’s vitally important that he identifies what you’ve done for his Mum and/or Sisters. You want him to be a loving husband and a connected dad, so show him how it’s done and demonstrate what you’d hope he’ll do for his wife and daughters in future. That’s not all though. Your son needs to be told that you love him too. Let’s be honest, generally, it’s a bit harder for blokes to tell other blokes how much they love them when compared to females.
Your gift doesn’t need to be over the top or expensive – a little pressie with a note that tells him you love him and you’re proud of him will suffice. He needs to be able to see that it’s important for blokes to express their feelings and emotions to other blokes – this is vitally important to his long-term mental health and helps to break down society’s negative stigma’s associated with men sharing their personal troubles and hardships. A kinder surprise, small box of lego or a new footy with a short heart-felt note – you ripper Old Boy!
Most importantly though, REPEAT – every year. These ongoing gestures show that it’s not just a one-off thing that Dad did one year when he was really into reading The Brag Dad.
So there it is ya big DILF! One for her, one for darling-angel-sugar-pie and one for champ. You’ve made something genuine, constructive and thoughtful on a day that can often be none of these things.
Luke’s a father to two little girls, a fly-in fly-out worker and founder of DILF CLUB. Check his ‘not so PC’ Dad blog on insta @dilf.life