Making headlines last week was a study that found that gaydar is not a thing. Essentially, the study proved you could not tell someone’s sexuality based on looking at photos of their face. Instead, it argued gaydar is actually a damaging form of stereotyping.
Upon first glance, I was supremely pissed at this study and its lack of consideration of things like body language, interaction with others and so on. That was until I started reading the comments from people who are (statistically speaking) probably straight, insisting that it’s easy to tell if a man is gay because he is effeminate, that lesbians walk like men, and basically being ignorant straight people.
The issue is, things like body language and stereotypes, which I’ve previously written about for this column, are supremely useful for other queer people. The same goes for any other subculture, really. They’re used as markers for those within your community to signal to them that you’re one of them. They start becoming harmful when those outside the community claim knowledge or ownership of them.
So perhaps gaydar is a thing, but only among queers. I read an article recently about Lesbian Fuck Eye (LFE). LFE is the look that simultaneously recognises and acknowledges each other’s queerness, and expresses desire. For me, it’s not always sexual desire, but also a desire for community, for recognition of shared experience.
Stereotypes help get us to LFE, but LFE is the confirmation. I get on the bus and see a woman with short hair and a plaid shirt. If she doesn’t even notice me, chances are she’s straight. If she looks up and holds my gaze for just a second, there’s that moment of acknowledgement.
I get stared at in public, a lot. When you meet someone’s gaze, it’s easy to tell if they’re looking at you because they recognise you and the community you both share, or if they’re staring because they think you look weird. While it’s hard to explain, it’s not exactly rocket science.
This article called it Lesbian Fuck Eye. My friends and I have called it The Look. My primary school teacher friend gets it from lesbian parents. My office worker mate sees it in bus drivers, hairdressers, bartenders. The Look gives us the chance to acknowledge our community in a world where it’s barely ever visibly present (bar Wednesday nights in Newtown – though one night a week isn’t really good enough).
Of course, The Look and many other aspects of your gaydar rely on some degree of subcultural recognition. Today, we have the luxury of so many subcultural markers that we can get away with presenting queer, to a queer audience, without necessarily conforming to a harmful stereotype imposed by a straight culture. As LGBT representations become more apparent in pop culture, we are gifted with more markers to signify one’s sexuality than straight audiences can keep up with.
The study did make one good point though – why does it matter what someone’s sexuality is? And that’s just it – it doesn’t, unless you want to fuck each other, or be a part of each other’s community. That’s why The Look works: both parties are desiring each other, whether that desire be sexual, or simply a desire for recognition. If a queer person chooses not to engage in The Look, or other body language signifiers, or chooses not to use subcultural markers of sexuality, then their sexuality is irrelevant, because they aren’t seeking to display it to others.
Gaydar only really applies to those happy to be marked.
This Week…
This Friday September 18, Love Club is launching its new weekly late-night event at the Bridge Hotel with Pablo Calamari. It kicks off at midnight and runs until 7am weekly, so keep it in mind every time you get kicked out of the CBD.
This Saturday September 19 sees a new queer party launched in the Blue Mountains’ Victoria & Albert Guesthouse. 1050 features Sydney regular Ben Drayton, and looks to be a fun mountain rave holiday getaway.
On Sunday September 20, Stereogamous, alongside Picnic, are putting on a Teddy Bear’s Picnic. Details are TBA at time of writing, but check out Stereogamous’ Facebook for more info.
Queer Screen runs from Tuesday September 22 – Sunday September 27 at Event Cinemas George Street. There’s a bunch of excellent films on, including Boulevard, the opening night Australian premiere that features Robin Williams’ last dramatic role.
