1. What Do You Look For In A Band?

Tall hairy men with good shirts, long arms, and a collectively loping gait. I prefer it if the drummer has a small face and I like friendly Spanish guitarists with good dance moves and a wah pedal. ‘Look around at my monkey hair. You can touch it, I don’t care. Used to be that I was ashamed, but now the monkey fluff is tamed. Come on everybody and walk around my hair!’

2. Keeping Busy

We have been carefully preparing to reveal The Ape to the world. Our first single ‘Crawl Back’ is available to download for free. We have also finished recording a classic 10-song, 36-minute, rock’n’roll record that is just great. Hanging out and enjoying the company of The Ape – there is a special energy and loving feeling created by The Ape, and that needed to be captured on tape.

3. Best Gig Ever

This is where I should be telling you about the best Ape gig I ever played, which Ape it was, what Ape I played with, what Ape songs we played and why I thought it was the best Ape ever, but The Ape don’t tell. Every show by The Ape is something to behold.

4. Current Playlist
‘You Finally Made A Monkey Out Of Me’, ‘Space Monkey’, ‘The Monkey Speaks His Mind’, ‘Brass Monkey’, ‘The Ape Of Death’, ‘Too Much Monkey Business’, ‘Leave My Monkey Alone’, ‘Monkey Island’, ‘Part Man, Part Monkey’, ‘Mickey’s Monkey’, ‘Monkey Wash, Donkey Rinse’, ‘Monkey In The Kitchen’, ‘Monkey Man’, ‘Monkey Girl’, ‘Very Ape’, ‘You’ll Never Make A Monkey Out Of Me’. The Powdermonkeys, Olympia, Latin Playboys, Ry Cooder, Warren Zevon. I really could go on here. Um, I quite like the new Drones record, and have also been revisiting the first three You Am I records. Also can’t stop listening to a song called ‘Seabird’ by The Alessi Brothers.

5. Your Ultimate Rider

Fruit, plants, nuts, insects, and some small animals. Sometimes we kill other monkeys for meat to eat, but most apes will not eat another ape, only smaller monkeys. Gus Ape Agars prefers it if nobody else wears hooded leather jackets to the shows. Please don’t build a fence around the coconut tree. ‘Don’t be cynical, It’s a follicle miracle. I said, don’t be cynical, I keep waxing lyrical.’

Tex Perkins and The Ape play The Annandale Hotel on Friday August 9.

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