This is the kind of content that hits all the right places. A glimpse into the unhinged, private worlds of celebrities. A look at what an infinite pool of wealth can do to a persons life. Dr. Phil is selling his Beverly Hills home, and, by God’s good grace, we have been blessed with photos of the property.

Nothing could have primed me for the garishness that Dr. Phil’s abode would possess. It is truly the physical manifestation of chaos. I’ve always envisioned that he would have snaffled himself up a nice, large McMansion that wouldn’t look out of place in Kellyville Ridge. The kind that’s adorned with like, a cream chaise lounge from Nick Scali, floor light instalments and a “man cave” adorned with NFL memorabilia. Tiny flexes of wealth that allude to an inherent lack of taste. I couldn’t have been more off the mark.

Dr. Phil’s home looks like if an active member of r/Communitycels won the lotto and decided to splurge on a mansion. There’s a wall of literal guns, sickly purple egg chairs hanging from the ceiling, bejewelled bear figurines that are one dimension away from being a Phillipp Plein t-shirt.

The most haunting room is, without a doubt, the foyer. Which features chode-like vines reminiscent to the Devil’s Snare leeching around the staircase and a chandelier that was definitely plucked out of the abyss of Pan’s Labyrinth.

In Phillip’s defence, he doesn’t actually live in the property. He purchased it in 2007, and it is currently being used by his son, Jordan. However, all good things must come to an end, and it Phil is looking to sell this beast. For the humble price of $5.75 million USD, you can own this fever dream.