Hold onto your ponytail propellors, it’s time we sat down and spoke about one of the most iconic set of films to be released during the 2000s, ‘Spy Kids’.

From its world-class humour for all ages, and music that tugs on every heartstring in our bodies, the Spy Kids film series was one of the greatest set of films that one could watch as a kid growing up. Albeit there were some moments of pure horror that should never be mentioned. Remember the thumb men?

Image result for spy kids thumb gif

Now, for obvious reasons, we are talking about the strict trilogy of Spy Kids movies, starring the excellence of Juni Rocket Racer Rebel Cortez and Carmen Elizabeth Juanita Echo Sky Bravo Cortez. There is no fourth film. The fourth film never happened. Now that that’s clear, let’s carry on.

It’s definitely the cast that made everything work in this series, every movie in the series felt like you were watching an actual family on your screen. You’re lying if you say you didn’t want to be apart of this amazing spy family as a kid.

Related image

A moment of silence and respect for the incredible acting of Carla Gugino as Ingrid Cortez, who was only matched by her on-screen lover, Antonio Banderas, who played Gregorio. Total couple goals that we can only dream to achieve ourselves one day.

These enemies-turned-lovers taught us as children what the definition of love was, and each film in the series only solidified that bond. And god they were they a hot couple.

Image result for gregorio cortez gif
Image result for gregorio cortez gif

Let’s not forget Danny Trejo as estranged uncle Machete, which implies that the Machete’ series of films are inextricably linked to the lore of Spy Kids.

The key motifs of the first film in 2001 allowed for this film to flow as well as it did. Family comes first. Imagination is important. Sometimes we lie to protect the ones we love. The themes were adult and real, yet the on-screen action and comedy scenes were perfectly aimed at the children.

And we are not going to speak about the horrifying children’s cartoons that sing a cry for help if you play their chant in reverse.

Here is an hour-long version of the clip to jot your memory:

‘Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams’ (2002) focuses on lovable duo Carmen and Juni yet again, but this time with competition in the gloriously named Gary and Gerti Giggles. Yes, that’s Emily Osment flying away by using her ponytails as a helicopter.

Image result for gerti giggles gif\

Taking part on an island for the most part of the film you would think things would get stale, yet scene after scene new and interesting things would jump out to constantly keep us entertained. The introduction of Steve Buscemi also lead to one of the most memorable film moments ever, “Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created?”

Image result for steve buscemi spy kids gif

Interesting twists and brand new visuals were aplenty in this film, which was able to successfully improve on the foundation that the first film created and improve upon it drastically. Sadly, this lucky streak didn’t quite carry over to the third and final film in the series, which is rather forgotten in the line of films. Kind of like Shrek 3. It’s okay, but it’s nobody’s favourite.

‘Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over’ (2003) wasn’t exactly a masterpiece like the previous films were. Sure it had its charm, but it definitely indicated the end of a beloved series.

The villain ‘The Toymaker’ played by Sylvester Stallone lacked any real interesting qualities that previous villains once had. Being thrust into a video game, Juni sets off to find his sister who went missing in the game.

With some interesting and fun scenes, the film managed to keep most of the enjoyment that the series held until this point, but was nowhere near as good as the previous films.

Sylvester Stalone adding an incredible role to his filmography
Sylvester Stalone adding another incredible role to his filmography. The talent. Awe-inspiring.

The visuals in this film were an interesting take but lost a key part of Spy Kids, which was the world and character building. The synthetic approach to a majority of the film seemed more like an attempt at new tech instead of for the benefit of the story. I mean, 3-D is in the title.

The ‘Spy Kids’ trilogy may not be the best films to ever exist, but it had heart and character which made it a childhood classic full of fantastic memories. Sadly, they never made a fourth.

To wrap up, here’s an image of those godforsaken monsters from ‘Spy Kids 2’.

No thanks.
No thanks.