Written by Joe Van Trump
Even though there may not be another Jurassic Park movie forecast in the near future, Jeff Goldblum’s character will never go extinct thanks to this undeniably awful, kitschy statue of his famous character Dr. Ian Malcom. This shirtless, wounded, smouldering scene is now forever frozen in time, like an unlucky mosquito stuck in amber. And sadly, like all the dinosaurs in those movies, it too was brought back to life. Thankfully, without Jeff’s DNA… well, hopefully.
Why this was created, only the talented artisans at Chronicle Collectibles know for sure. Perhaps, it could be used as one of those never-ending Christmas gifts that keeps getting passed on as a bad joke from one unlucky friend to another; or maybe as a centrepiece for anyone holding a Jeff Goldblum Film Festival; or maybe it’s for collectors of things that are so bad that they’re good. Because this fits the bill in spades.
Gorgeously recreated in 1:4 scale, Jeff (Dr. Ian) reclines comfortably and sexily, speckles of blood carefully painted upon his exquisitely chiselled chest, bone protruding through his thigh without a hint of pain reflected on his face, and hair immaculately coiffed. And it can all be yours for the bargain basement price of only $600. It will pay for itself in compliments. Or laughs. Whatever, it’s all good.
