When a conference call is connected, normally the first thing one hears is the other end of the call confirming they are on the line with something like a ‘hi’ or a ‘hello’. When Arish Khan and Mark Sultan – AKA The King Khan & BBQ Show – are connected, it’s this: “OUT WHEEEERE THE RIVER BROOOKE”.
The two have cottoned on to the fact they’re speaking with Australian phoners, so they’ve decided to go all out on a surprisingly accurate Peter Garrett impression. “The river is running wild here in Montreal!” says Khan. “It just came through and washed off all of my body hair!” All of it? “Yeah, dude! I’m already naked, so thankfully it didn’t tear through any clothing.”
There’s laughter from the other line. “Oh, man,” says Sultan. “I wish I was there to see that!”
That’s more or less the benchmark The King Khan & BBQ Show set as far as their interviews are concerned. We don’t talk about their new album, Bad News Boys. We don’t talk a great deal about their upcoming visit as part of Splendour In The Grass. We don’t even get into their infamous falling out and eventual split when they toured here in 2010. Instead, there’s a myriad of bizarre tangents, funny voices and notably weird stories from all around the world. Most recently, the Canadians were playing the Burger Boogaloo festival in Oakland, California, which was hosted by legendary weirdo filmmaker John Waters. Naturally, the two were incredibly excited to be sharing a bill with the notorious director – and, as it turned out, he them.
“He was great!” says Khan excitedly. “He introduced all the bands, and he told us that he was interested in joining us for a teabag party. He described us as Bunker Hill and Liberace rolled into one. We started talking about doing a shit onstage, and he was totally into it.”
It surely couldn’t get any crazier than that? Au contraire. “Right before we started,” adds Sultan, “someone threw a firecracker onto the stage and it landed inside the bass drum.”
This, naturally, leads into a conversation about some of the weird shit The King Khan & BBQ Show have had thrown at them over the years. “Someone threw chicken wings once,” says Khan. “Raw chicken wings can be pretty dangerous. You can get salmonella from that.”
“You have diarrhoea right now, don’t you?” asks Sultan.
“Yeah, I totally do,” replies Khan. “It’s part and parcel of getting salmonella every other show.”
Sultan pipes in again to one-up his bandmate: “I had a cow tongue thrown at me onstage once. It was so wet and so heavy, I actually got busted open from it. This happened in Atlanta when we were playing a show with The Spooks – I got 33 stitches. 33 stitches from a cow tongue!”
So when The King Khan & BBQ Show arrive in a matter of days, what would the pair like thrown at them? “I’d be very happy if everyone who came to our shows could throw some Hungry Jack’s at us,” suggests Sultan. Well, as luck would have it, there’s one across the road from Oxford Art Factory. “No kidding! That works out well.”
“None for me,” protests Khan. “That shit reeks! I had some while we were in Sydney the last time around. The moment it hit my mouth, I painted the wall with my shit and I passed out.”
Bad News Boys is out now through In The Red. The King Khan & BBQ Show play the GW McLennan Tent at Splendour 2015 on Saturday at 5:30pm, and also Oxford Art Factory, Wednesday July 22.
