Here it is, the same-sex survey form that is being printed up and mailed out at great expense to all Australians registered to vote, so they can tick a box, mail it back at great expense, then be tallied at great expense — and, regardless of the results, not at all be legally binding.

The ‘instructions’ section is particularly interesting. The reminder to mark only one box (mentioned twice, just in case) is particularly great, and the friendly-yet-frantic instruction to “Put the envelope in the mail… today if you can!” suggests they are predicting a clusterfuck of last-minute votes to flood in.

If you make a mistake, you can go online for a replacement form — again “straight away” — but what kind of mistake could an adult human possibly make on a form which requires a yes/no vote, and the ticking of only one box, with a dark pen? A light pen could be accidentally used, but this could be traced over with a darker pen. The only possible mistakes are as follows:

a) Marking both boxes

b) Marking the wrong box

c) Cock and balls

So, enjoy your sneak peek of the minimalist masterpiece that is the Australian Marriage Law Postal Survey, and remember… rainbow flag, dark pen, can’t lose.

MArriage survey

Tell Us What You Think