As we Sydneysiders head into December, the prospect of going to the beach to cool down seems unavoidable. But which beaches are all your fellow queers heading to? I’ve put together a list of all the popular places I can think of.

Gordons Bay

I like Gordons Baybecause the treacherous rocks make it difficult for children and a fun time adventure for dogs. Double win! Known to have at least two lesbians present at all times, Gordons Bay is usually a safe space to ditch your top and paddle around. Low tide kinda sucks, and the high presence of stingrays makes it a little exhilarating, but generally Gordons is good for snorkelling, sunbaking, playing with dogs and getting a burger from Out Of The Blue in Clovelly afterwards.

Little Congwong Beach

This little nudist beach near La Perouse is famously and fabulously queer. The highlight here is when the Streets boat pulls into the bay to sell some ice-creams and all the naked bears frolick towards it for their summer treat.

Werrong Beach (Otford)

My friend told me to include this one because it’s quiet, secluded and beautiful. It’s in the Royal National Park just south of Sydney, a popular hiking spot for the more rugged queers among us. You can hike to and from Otford train station.

Lady Jane (Lady Bay) Beach

This is another popular nudist beach because, if I’ve learnt anything about queers at the beach, they like to take their clothes off. And really, why wouldn’t you when most swimwear is ridiculously gender normative? Just go naked and let your queer body be free. Lady Bay is particularly popular for men, and from what I’ve heard, exhibitionist men, since it’s a bit of a popular tourist haunt as well.

McIvers Baths

McIvers Baths, also known as the Coogee women’s baths, have been a popular place for lesbians and Muslim women for some time. It’s a glorious place where women can take off their tops or hijabs, depending on personal preference, and swim in a men-free environment. I’m not sure how trans-friendly McIvers Baths is, and that’s something worth considering. But if you want to go and relax with a Mills & Boon novel (supplied by the baths, in the change rooms), don’t forget your 20 cents to throw in the bucket on the way in.

Redleaf (Murray Rose Pool)

OK, so I’ve never been to Redleaf [pictured above]during the day, but I’m sure it’s great. It’s perfect for a night-time swim though, and the shark net makes you feel safe from animal dangers. Head there after you’ve been getting sweaty at Tokyo Sing Song, take your clothes off, swim to the platoon and dance on that in the dark. Trust me.

Milk Beach

Milk Beach probably isn’t very gay, but it’s small enough that if you head there with a car of gays, you’ll probably queer it up enough to make it count. It has stunning harbour views and you can read some good innuendo into its name, so hit it up.

As with Milk Beach, you can make most beaches queer (especially the small ones) just by being there, though that requires a bit of bravery if you’ve got it. If you don’t like the ocean, Andrew (Boy) Charlton Pool, Victoria Park Pool and Fanny Durack (Petersham) Aquatic Centre are all pretty gay places to swim, but probably more strict about clothing than the beaches. If you want to get wet but don’t like the sun, Arq probably has a foam party coming up sometime soon.

This Week…

Christmas is coming. This Wednesday December 2, Snatch and Grab, Heaps Gay and Snap Back are teaming up again at the Newtown Hotel for another gay X-Mess bash, featuring Cunningpants, Mira Boru, Sveta, L’Oasis and heaps more, as well as performances from Burley Chassis and Fran Giapanni. After that, head up to Slyfox for Birdcage to kick on with Sveta and Cunningpants, as well as NatNoiz and DJ Hookie.

On Friday December 4, the Sydney Uni Women’s Collective is putting on its annual performance and party night, Knightess. At a secret warehouse location, the event features Chunyin, Corin, Buoy, Lovely Head, Baby Face Thrilla and more.

And one for the diary: On Friday December 18, Homosocial is back for Ho Ho Homosocial, at 90 Liverpool St (entrance across the road from Goodgod). The party features Andy Webb, Matt Vaughan, Cunningpants and new kid on the block (and certified babe) DJ Shanks, plusperformances from Aaron Manhattan and Tammy Thomas, who each make up the Ho and Ho of Ho Ho Homosocial.

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