I have never in my adult life been discriminated against by any employer or colleague on the basis of my sexuality.
In no professional setting have I ever been taken less seriously, or targeted or dismissed, because of my sexual preferences. As far as I know.
I count myself to be very lucky in this case. Then again, that doesn’t account for what might have been going on behind my back.
When I first heard Queer As Folk’s Brian Kinney (Gale Harold) utter the line, “There’s only two kinds of straight people in this world: the ones who hate you to your face, and the ones who hate you behind your back,” I had to pause for a moment. I suddenly became unsettled, because I’d never really considered it a possibility before.
As someone who is very obviously gay, I cannot hide. I can’t easily pass for straight, so I’ve been on the receiving end of some nasty shit throughout my life. I’ve had drinks thrown at me out of car windows, been spat on, punched, pushed, screamed at, accosted in the street by randoms, told to kill myself, told I was going to hell, told I was going to die of AIDS, told I needed to be raped back to straightness, et cetera. I could go on and on, but I won’t.
Considering the long parade of abuse I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing throughout my life, I’d never stopped to consider that perhaps a lot more of this was going on behind my back. I mean, it’s really obvious when some mule-kicked fuckwit is foaming at the mouth, screaming at me that I’m a faggot bitch in the middle of the street, but what’s going on behind my back, or in my workplace?
I was recently chatting to a friend of mine who identifies as a bisexual man. He is read as straight and has no problems passing. He told me that he’s behind enemy lines, that people can air out their most vicious homophobic thoughts to him without censoring themselves because they believe he is one of them. Nobody would ever make the mistake of doing that with me, because they’d be hard-pressed to assume that I’m straight.
I thought a lot about this and realised there’s just no way of knowing. I mean, in a professional environment your behaviour is pretty intensely scrutinised anyway. Nobody really flies their bigot flag unless they’re ready for HR to swoop in and slice their heads off. Or unless they’re particularly sociopathic or stupid. Or a CEO.
I recently found out that a guy I used to work with, who was super friendly, progressive and lovely, used to beat his girlfriend bloody on a regular basis. He didn’t come into work and say misogynistic shit, so there was no way of knowing his true feelings towards women. Just because I didn’t see or hear any colleague in any of my previous workplaces saying homophobic things doesn’t mean that some of them weren’t homophobes.
It’s a little chilling to consider. I know I’ve been mostly lucky professionally, but I’ve not been so lucky on the street by myself.
I don’t think Brian Kinney’s statement is necessarily a truism, but I don’t think that it’s entirely false either, and I don’t think it should be dismissed.
That said, it’s really great to live in a place where people can’t really be openly bigoted without consequence. Though Australia might be lagging on the marriage front (the plebiscite’s death rattle began long before Labor finally voted it into oblivion, yay!), it’s good to know we’ve gotten to a point where it’s unacceptable, at least in polite and professional society, to call someone a dyke and not be punished for it.
[Pictured: Gale Harold as Brian Kinneyin Queer As Folk]
THIS WEEK:
On Friday October 21, The Shift Club is starting its new Friday night show, Sweetly Censored, starring Ripley Waters, Thomas Piesley and Connor Patrick. It’ll also feature the “superstar talents” of Ms Charisma Belle and Hannah Conda, plus DJ Sveta. This is the opening night, so it’s bound to be a good time.
On Saturday October 22, get on down to the Imperial Hotel because it’s Heaps Gay’s third birthday and they’re having a huge fancy party. Expect three floors of artists, dancers, musicians and DJs. Here’s the roll call: CC:Disco!, Heart People, Kimchi Princi, Apocalypstik, Bailey Bailey (Mezko), Bad Deep DJs and Nic Kelly with many more to be announced. Tickets are on sale now.
On Sunday October 23, for V MoVement Sydney, the House Of Mince presents Honey Soundsystem (Jason Kendig and Jackie House) [below] from San Francisco. The Honey boys take inspiration from underground parties and dance music history and are known for huge productions, creating massive party-specific installations. Don’t miss out.
