Last week, celebrity publicist Roxy Jacenko revealed that her Paddington office had been terrorised by a mysterious poo jogger. Which is, quite frankly, my favourite thing to happen in recent memory.
A feral poo jogger isn’t foreign to Australia — last year a 64-year-old man allegedly dropped the kids off at the pool over 30 times in Brisbane. Though we have to say this incident is absolutely splendid as it takes place in Paddington.
If you’re not familiar with the area, it’s sort of like, the posh, very clean, sort of soulless hub of Sydney. It’s not quite as anaemic as Double Bay but it certainly lacks any sort of flavour. It’s the kind of place where every single girl looks like they hold a wishy-washy PR job, don a casual Sunday Lulu Lemon leggings and Camilla and Marc Tank Top fit, and get their perfect Lara Bingle balayage freshened up at Edwards and Co in six-week intervals. It’s pristine, and sort of cold.
So somebody choosing to take a gigantic dump outside a celebrity PR agent’s office in the suburb is literally the best thing in the entire world. Oh and the best part about this whole situation, it was a woman doing the deed. A true act of defiance. 2019’s Joan of Arc.
The woman has since been unmasked, but has attempted to hide her identity from the public by “deleting her social media accounts.”