When carrying a sleeping kid in the shops, people think you’re a god damn hero
I’ve experienced this many times. Doing the grocery shop with a child sleeping on my shoulder, basket hanging from the other arm, people looking at me like an absolute hero. “What a good dad. Look at you, helping out. You didn’t need to do that, where’s his mum?”
Mate. This shouldn’t be impressive. But I’ve walked through supermarket car parks like Moses parting the Red Sea. People running out to stop cars so I can cross to mine, offering to carry my bags. Relax, people.
You join the club of dads, which is a pretty solid club
It’s a lifestyle. People with no kids can do whatever they want at any moment, without checking with someone first and/or needing to ensure a child’s survival and happiness. We in the Stonecutters walk a different path.
We are also given numbers according to when we joined. So if you’re 42 and have a newborn, and I’m 10 years younger with an almost four-year-old, I’m older than you in dad years. Do you get me? It’s a thing.
You start noting kids a few months older to see what’s coming up next
When your kid is crawling, you’re watching the ones that can stand. Once yours is upright, it’s the ones that can walk, run and climb things. Some of this can be a worry, “Ah geez, he’ll be able to reach everything.”
The age of kids becomes regular playground conversation with other parents, like ‘How old is she?’ Oh, [six months older than my own] that’s interesting. **sets timer on phone**. Guess he’ll be able to climb up that thing by July.
You’re more valued by employers (for better or worse)
As a newly minted dad, you’re seen to be more responsible. Less likely to bolt from a job and leave the country all of a sudden. You have a family at home and need to bring in those dollars to pay for baby things.
When interviewing for a new job I suggest finding a way to work your new baby into conversation. You’re technically not supposed to do this at some places so be casual about it.
I can report a strong and positive feeling of working for your partner and baby at home. Your job feels to have more of an inherent purpose, although this might not last.
Dance parties at home introducing them to The Beatles
I don’t really dance, but I’ll get down to blasting Beatles hits in my own house no worries. My son loves The Beatles and lately has been shouting at me for playing anything different. That’s less ideal. The propaganda has worked too well.
He also loves hip hop, The Beach Boys and The Ramones so it’s going alright. Choose whatever bands you like buddy. I really don’t mind.
