I am a musician with hearing damaged by years of noise. I wear ear plugs anytime loud music is happening and always carry them with me in case of unexpected music.
Imagine adding a tiny human into this scenario who screams indiscriminately straight into those ears. Oh the ringing and fresh hearing loss. The slow, sad realisation that you’ll be deaf by their first birthday (and that’s slightly true).
In those early months, it feels like your life will never change. A baby screaming in the night. Screaming when you take them driving in the car. Screaming at **any public place**.
The very sound of their cries triggers a fight or flight response. Eventually you’re exhausted from being in a constant state of heightened readiness. Burnt out like a soldier on the front lines, which is an extreme example, but one I identified with.
Well guess what? Science says you’re right.
Baby cries release oxytocin, a brain chemical that creates attention and care-giving responses in parents.
As this 2011 study noted:
“Our findings suggest that oxytocin promotes responsiveness to infant crying by reducing activation in the neural circuitry for anxiety and aversion and increasing activation in regions involved in empathy.”
But there’s another step. Our brain becomes singularly attuned to seize upon our own baby’s cry, even amidst a bunch of other sounds. Even while other babies are crying. Our minds are quite brilliant.
The good news? Your child grows into a toddler who constantly harries you with nagging, whinging and questions, rather than screaming. Achievement unlocked!
Until then, why not learn the baby whisperer’s womb-mimicking trick to stop your baby crying? You are WELCOME fellow dads. Imagine being able to help your partner sleep by being an anti-crying ninja.
