Perhaps Scott Morrisons radical self-isolation relaxation speech was just an elaborate rouse to overshadow the fact that he’s trending on PornHub.
As Vice report, this morning, for some supernatural reason, in the PornHub trending search terms, nestled between the bosoms of “shy girl orgasms like crazy” and “clarababylegs”, was the Prime Minister of Australia, Scott Morrison.
There are many realms in which the mind wanders when greeted with this revelation. Immediately, visceral images are conjured up of quarbrain-afflicted teenagers that have spent the past 7 weeks in lockdown becoming maestros of animation with the intent of executing a salacious Anomalisa style short film featuring ScoMo getting rawed.
Or you think of some dude that still shares The Betoota Advocate articles on his Instagram story, trying his hand at a bit of jovial political comedy by recontextualising a press conference to the adult film world. In this case it was probably the latter.
The video that was trending was a 29-minute press conference from the Prime Minister from a couple weeks back, in which he unpacks the Australian social distancing laws. Lovingly titled “Scott Morrison FUCKS the entire population of Australia (including Andrew)”.
Of course, the video sported a litany of hashtags like “cuckold”, “gangbang”, “HD porn”, “mature”, “muscular men”, and… “orgywhich”?
As Dr. Paul J. Maginn though of the University of Western Australia explains to Vice, the video probably began trending because non-pornographic content has a better chance of thriving in the algorithm than pornographic content.
“PornHub gets so much traffic to it, posting non-porn content is actually a clever strategy in elevating the uploader’s social media profile in some way,” Paul explained. “In this case, this is the first video posted by the uploader, and 6,000 views is a hell of a lot of views in my honest opinion. It’s unclear when this video was uploaded to PornHub, but if it only went up today or this week, that’s still a lot of views, especially for non-porn content on an online porn site.”
Respect to the 6,000+ of you that watched a half-hour political press content on a website where literally any other video would be tenfold more stimulating.
In other PornHub news, the website recently executed a new campaign featuring some fan favourite performers called “Cleanest Porn Ever”. The website recruited the most beloved troops to demonstrate things like how to wash your hands properly, how far apart six feet really is, how to shower properly, how to wear a mask properly, and plenty more helpful advice.
If that bit of humanity preservation wasn’t enough, the site also donated 50,000 surgical masks to help those fighting on the coronavirus frontline.
