Over 30 years since its debut, Seinfeld has remained a part of the cultural zeitgeist for its takes on society, its iconic phrases, and its relatable characters.
And when it comes to relatable characters, there is perhaps none more relatable than the legendary George Costanza, especially when it comes to his takes on dating, work, and his gripes with society as a whole.
Funnily enough, the seemingly unlikeable character was actually based on Seinfeld creator Larry David – and if you’ve ever witnessed an episode of the genius that is Curb Your Enthusiasm, you’d know exactly what we’re talking about.
But among George’s failed relationships, failed jobs, and general failure at life, the short, stocky, slow-witted bald man still had a few nuggets of gold when it came to life advice.
Here, we check out some of the best sage advice bestowed upon us by one of the sitcom’s greatest comedies.
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Fake it till you make it
“Jerry, just remember: It’s not a lie if you believe it,” George mused in Season 6 episode The Beard.
While George may not have had much luck when it came to women, work, or life in general, you can’t deny he was gifted in the art of lying.
Among some of the porkers he’s told over the years include:
- Pretending to be a marine biologist
- Pretending to be disabled to land a job
- Pretending to work at Vandelay Industries (Art Vandelay, anyone?)
- Pretending to be a tourist
- Pretending that a photo of Jerry’s girlfriend was his dead fiancee to pick up girls
And while he found himself in some awkward situations as a result of his lies – including having to fish a golf ball out of a beached whale – he never really faced any major consequences, so take from that what you will.
If you want to be left alone at work, act annoyed
“I always look annoyed. Yeah, when you look annoyed all the time, people think that you’re busy,” George Costanza said in Seinfeld episode The Hot Tub.
This dollop of advice comes after George is promoted at the New York Yankees and inevitably has to take on a bigger workload. Only ever willing to put in the bare minimum, George tells Jerry and Elaine that the secret to not being dumped with extra work is to “look annoyed all the time”.
While his crafty method works a treat for a while, with George revealing that “Mr. Wilhelm gave me one of those little stress dolls,” until in true Seinfeld style, it all blows up in his face.
Do the opposite of your instincts
After a series of unfortunate events, George successfully persuades himself that acting completely against his natural inclinations will cause his poor luck to change.
“Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise,” he says in Season 5 episode of Seinfeld, The Opposite.
“I was personable. I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but I was perceptive. I always know when someone’s uncomfortable at a party. It all became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I’ve ever made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat… It’s often wrong,” he declared.
Never one to shy away from a social experiment, Jerry replies, “Well, here’s your chance to try the opposite. Instead of tuna salad and being intimidated by women, chicken salad and going right up to them … If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.”
After successfully picking up a gorgeous woman with the iconic line, “My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents,” by the end of the ep, he’s somehow landed a plushy job as assistant to the travelling secretary for the New York Yankees, so there you have it.
What not to do while dating
Where do we even start? If there were a book on what not to do while out in the big wide world of dating, there’s no doubt in our minds that our boy Georgie would be on the front cover.
Whether it’s insisting a girlfriend get a nose job to become better looking, dumping someone because they’re too tan, trying to cheat on his fiancee with Marissa Tomei, or inadvertently killing his fiancee because he cheaped out on wedding invitations that contained toxic glue, George is the embodiment of what everyone should absolutely not do while in a relationship with anyone, ever.
And if for some reason you find yourself about to pull a Costanza while on a dinner date with that cutie on Tinder, remember his previous advice – just do the opposite.
Go out on a high note
We’re taking George’s advice for this very article by delivering you a final pearl of wisdom – always go out on a high note.
Basically, George takes Jerry’s advice and decides to “end on a high note” when it comes to dropping cheesy jokes in work meetings, he finds he leaves those around him “always wanting more.”
One Redditor actually tried out Costanza’s method with stellar results.
“I started doing this a few years and it works brilliantly. Basically, I do just like George if I say something that makes the person (s) I’m talking to laugh I leave immediately,” they wrote.
“Sometimes I just walk away and sometimes I do like he did on the show and raise my hands like a performer, smile, and say good night (yes regardless of the time or event, it seems to add humor to the leaving). Now everyone thinks I’m a big cut up, friendly, and a jokester when in reality I just want out of the conversation ASAP. Give it a try sometime.”
Goodnight everybody!
