I don’t know about y’all but this period of isolation has incited a dinner party renaissance amongst my friend group and I. Those first few weeks where we were allowed to see the homies again, and we all had spare time and Foccacia baking skills under our belts, proved to be an opportunity to finesse our grazing platter repertoire.
The process of throwing a dinner party, although seeped in a kind of cottage-core glamour, is extremely fucking stressful. You’ve got one arm violently slicing heirloom tomatoes for bruschetta, and the other panic-checking your za’atar roasted cauliflower steaks. Your guests arrive and you’re a frantic sweaty mess because the polyester peasant blouse you stupidly ordered off Urban Outfitters offers no ventilation. You realise you’ve forgotten the alcohol.
Thankfully these unprecedented times has birthed the golden age of food and alcohol delivery. Instead of hot-footing it down to your nearest boutique bottle-o to get stooged on a $30 bottle of pinot that may as well be a bin-end, we now have the freedom to get ready-made premix cocktails delivered to our door.
“Convenience is king, that and there are increased occasions for purchasing your favourite drink in a premixed format. Be it on the way to a party, over dinner or even as a way to unwind at home after a long working day,” Henry Gordon, an expert on the premix game shares. “There is a more prevalent need for this style of product than ever before which means we are continually seeing brand innovation within the premix space.”
So, in the spirit of all things spirits, we’ve compiled a list of all our favourite premixed delights that you and your friends can crack open over an extraordinarily competitive game of Scene It.
I was hesitant to venture into the realm of premixed rum. I have visceral memories of chundering up cans of Bundy pre-mix drunk tactlessly at house parties when I was seventeen. Though I took the plunge on Kraken, something about that chic bottle made me feel safe. I was. If you too want to overcome the trauma of your formative drinking years, this is the brew for you.
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Koyomi Shochu Blended Yuzu & Lime Highball
If your idea of hosting a dinner party is less cooking food and more ordering a mammoth platter of sushi, this is the perfect accompaniment.
Dirty Bucha of Byron Gin and Lemon Myrtle Kombucha
Protect ya gut whilst your liver screams in anguish. This is truly a delectable beverage. I remember when kombucha first entered the periphery and I, in all my infinite wisdom, thought I could empty out half a bottle of Jiva and top the rest up with Smirnoff. It fucking sucked. I can’t express to you how profoundly awful it was. Thankfully, somebody has found a way to perfect the marriage between alcohol and buch and it is this.
Curatif Archie Rose Espresso Martini
Espresso Martini’s rule, Archie Rose rules, there’s not much more to say.
Curatif Four Pillars Spiced Negroni
The perfect premix if you’re prone to fibbing and want to convince people that you’re a mixologist when you’re really not. Instead of wasting time fart arsing around with shot glasses and measurements, order a couple of these bad boys to your door and perfecting your orange peel garnish.
This minimalist packaging is so fire.
Slice a couple limes up and you’re all gravy, baby.
Bootleg Booch is the white knight of sinking piss in the park. It looks so much like a wholesome, inoffensive bottle of Kombucha that you’ll be able to get away from swindling cops that attempt to write you up for hanging with the homies in Hyde Park.
I can’t sing the praises of the seltzer higher. You can sink as many as you like and not feel like a piece of shit.
Another gem in the premixed Gin & Tonic canon. It does what it says it does and it does it well.
