Sex toy vanguards Hot Octopuss have teamed up with sex neuroscientist Dr Nan Wise in creating the worlds first ‘orgasm barometer’, the G-Scale. 

The G-Scale was created in response to a study that illuminated that half of women are dissatisfied with how often they reach climax and (even more harrowing) the revelation that 15% of women have never had an orgasm at all. Dreadful! Horrifying!

In the hopes of helping women help themselves, Hot Octopuss and Dr Wise put their minds together and created the G-Scale and a series of sexercises designed to help women reach their climax.

“Studies show that up to half of all women are dissatisfied with how often they reach climax. Alarmingly, 15% have never experienced one at all,” Hot Octopuss Co-Founder and COO Julia Margo said.

“We created the G-Scale to help women gauge the power and satisfaction of their orgasms. Through using the G-Scale, women can gain valuable information on how to pleasure their G-spot, which is a crucial component of combined orgasms, squirting and more fulfilling sex overall.”

So how does it work?

The G-Scale asks a series of questions about your levels of arousal, and what gets your rocks off. It’ll then offer you tips and tricks to help you bust a nut, alone or with a partner.

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Here’s where it gets technical: the scale well then delivers a reading from 1 through to the G+, which is when multiple erogenous zones are stimulated at once — including the G-spot, the nipples and the mind. Yes, the mind.

Enter the KURVE

The G-scale was launched concurrently with Hot Octopuss’ latest toy: KURVE — a G-spot stimulator featuring Hot Octopuss’s signature Treble and Bass Technology, dual motors and a soft gel tip.

If you’re the kind of gal that has always been curious about whether or not the fabled G-Spot exists, but the thought of buying one of those petrifying, lifelike dildos have been too daunting to entertain, the KURVE is perfect.

I have never written about sex toys before. I lack the lexicon sex experts use to describe these things. I’m not going to risk embarrassing both you and I by using worlds like “rumbling” or “tantric” or “pulsating.” But you’re probably wondering whether the KURVE is worth your money, so here goes nothing.

Is it any good?

Yes. Absolutely definitively yes. How good is it? Let’s just say I haven’t sent ANY regretable “wyd” DMs to skateboarders at 11 pm. Those days are behind me. The KURVE has allowed me to practice mindfulness when I’m feeling a little horny and self-destructive. I’m on a full-on DM sabbatical now ladies. I live in a blissful haven with my MUJI diffuser, my KURVE vibrator and Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut playing in the background. It’s ushered in an era of peace like no other.

My most pathological fear when it came to using a vibrator was the noise. I live in one of those apartment blocks where all the studios are packed like a tin of sardines. You can hear EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING.  There’s no shame in masturbating, but I don’t want my sweet old neighbour to feel uncomfortable every time we share an elevator. I want him to think of me as a eunuch-like figure.

Thankfully, the KURVE is pretty quite, considering the magnitude of the thing. I popped it on, left it on my bed and stood outside my apartment door. Not a peep.

The design is also super chic and totally not intimidating at all. It comes in a gorgeous silk bag so you can pop that shit in your underwear draw when you’re not getting down to business.

The KURVE retails for AU$169 — but if you take the G-Scale test you can get 20% off. Treat yourself.

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