TLC @ Enmore Theatre

What should we have expected from TLC? We’re talking about an R&B girl group that released its debut record in 1992. That went on to sell over 45 million albums before Destiny’s Child was even a thing. ‘Waterfalls’ will be 20 years old next year. There is so much myth and nostalgia and tragedy and triumph surrounding the cult of TLC (and to judge by the yelps of adoration at the Enmore, its membership is still very much loud and present) that it was impossible to try to predict what a performance by two-thirds of the original lineup would look or sound like all these years later.

Gaudy, lip-synced, sad, gimmicky and occasionally funny, it turns out, is what to expect from 2014-era TLC. After conjecture about Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes, who died in a 2002 car crash, making an appearance via hologram was snuffed out by her glaring absence on the opening couple of cuts (particularly ‘Ain’t 2 Proud 2 Beg’), we were left with T (T-Boz) and C (Chilli) strutting around in their dungarees making a good impression. But that, it quickly turned out, was all that their ‘live show’ effectively was: the impression of performance.

Despite efforts to distract with a hype man, three-piece band (bass, keys, drums) and a squad of dancers who did an admirable job of keeping time where its leaders couldn’t, the reality was too flawless to be real. T-Boz managed to cover incredible four-part harmonies on ‘Baby-Baby-Baby’ all while stepping through her dance moves and not raising a sweat. Chilli, who occasionally looked like she might have been actually producing sounds, debunked that notion by talking while she was ostensibly still singing on ‘Red Light Special’.

And yet, even for the weight of this huge pretence, the show didn’t seem to suffer that much. As far as logistics were concerned, it was a tightly run affair and the DJ breaks, dancer introductions and lighting were all well-rehearsed. A slim, poor-resolution video screen playing loops of old video clips and appropriately ’90s animated astrological and flower gifs was kind of hilarious and very cute.

As we jumped to ‘No Scrubs’, what more could we expect? Anticipating a live performance, you would have been desperately disappointed. But as a throwback/farewell/karaoke event, it ticked most of the boxes. To be fair, the billing should have read ‘TLC Live: Ts and Cs apply’.