Welcome to the BRAG’s weekly rundown of what’s hot in the coming seven days of cinematic releases. This time around, we’re introducing our regular closer, THE VERDICT. No, there’s no Mark Latham hate-ranting – just me giving my humble film correspondent’s opinion on what you should be spending your popcorn money on. And this week, it may not be what you think…
And of course there will be little animated pictures for those of you with the attention span of… well, me.
SPECTRE
Prepare to meet the author of James Bond’s pain in a surprisingly phoned-in effort from all involved. Not content with the sexy cinematography and stylistic flair of Skyfall, director Sam Mendes reverts back to formula and plays it slow and safe.
The result? A martini that’s missing the vodka. And takes two-and-a-half hours to drink.
tl;dr #BringBackTheDench
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HE NAMED ME MALALA
Meet one of John Stewart’s favourite guests, a Pakistani teenage girl who, despite being 17, is a Nobel Peace Prize Laureate.
Malala Yousafzai made headlines when she was shot in the head by the Taliban for advocating in favour of women’s education. Now watch as her regular ordinary family life, adorable teenage crushes and globe-shaking passion make you feel comparatively rubbish.
tl;dr 90mins of this face:
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SECRET IN THEIR EYES
An American remake of the Argentinean film that took out 2010’s Best Foreign Language Film Oscar, this one sees Chiwetel Ejiofor obsessing for 13 years over the rape and murder of colleague Julia Roberts’ daughter.
It’s a cold-blooded chiller with an impressive cast (including Nicole Kidman), whose respect for the law is in a constant battle with their notions of ‘justice’.
tl;dr Don’t fuck with Erin Brockovich
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KNIGHT OF CUPS
Looking like a cross between The Tree Of Life and The Wolf Of Wall Street, the brilliant Terrence Malick lets Christian Bale off-leash into the world of Hollywood excess – sex, drugs and money. Must be a challenging role for him.
Cate Blanchett and Natalie Portman also star in this ode to the struggles of the straight white male screenwriter. It’s received mixed reviews thus far and honestly looks to be less compelling than Malick’s last outing.
tl;dr Basically Tree Of Life with raves
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THE GREEN INFERNO
Remember Tanna from last week? This is the polar opposite. Also filmed with a native tribe that has never been captured on film before (Peru’s indigenous Callanayacu), this one sticks to good ol’ fashioned family racism by dressing them up as bloodthirsty cannibals.
Sure, it may have interesting things to say about the white saviour complex, but the message is undercut by juvenile humour, sadistic violence and writer/director Eli Roth’s sneering contempt for his own characters.
tl;dr About as fun as genital mutilation.
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And now for THE VERDICT – maybe you only get the chance to see one of these flicks on the big screen, and you don’t wanna waste that night out. So, drum roll please…
My money’s onSecret In Their Eyes: can’t say too much (embargoed and all) but it’s a thrilling ride. And Roberts alone is worth the price of admission.
Until next week!
