1/5 stars
So yeah, the ultra-proliferous novel Fifty Shades Of Grey – or as I like to refer to it, ‘American Psycho from the sex worker’s perspective’ – has been turned into a movie. Before we talk music, I should explain my major beef with Fifty Shades. While offering a fly-on-the-wall perspective on violent sexual gratification, it lacks the sense of otherworldly humour in the aforementioned Easton Ellis masterpiece, to remind us that hardcore sexual violence is not OK unless it’s an allegory for ruthless corruptive powers of capitalism.
Musically, there are two highlights here, both from Canadian R&B artist The Weeknd: ‘Earned It’and the suitably brooding ‘Where You Belong’. Once you get past the sublime grit of The Weeknd, the remaining 13 songs are about as mediocre and dull as the shitty low-level admin jobs belonging to most of the people who are going to see this movie. Eurythmics’ Annie Lennox appears to be aging profitably with her by-the-numbers rendition of ‘I Put A Spell On You’. And then there’s Ellie Goulding’s super-shite ‘Love Me Like You Do’ – if you just asked, ‘Who the fuck is Ellie Goulding?’ I like you.
The lone star I give for this review is for the two Weeknd songs – that is all.
