Victorians are being encouraged to wear masks to help stop the spread of coronavirus after the state recorded 288 new coronavirus cases.

I’m not quite sure what savage brain worms have infiltrated Victorian waters that have people thinking that wearing a mask isn’t like, a complete necessity.

Deputy Chief Medical Officer Nick Coatsworth has emphasised that  residents in metropolitan Melbourne and Mitchell Shire, north of the city, should wear masks, when social distancing cannot be maintained.

“This means if you have to leave your home for any of those reasons for which it is permissible and you are likely to find yourself in a situation where you cannot maintain 1.5-metre distance, it is advisable to be covering your face with a mask,” Dr Coatsworth said during a press conference in Canberra on Thursday via SBS.

Additionally, Victoria’s Chief Health Officer Brett Sutton has encouraged residence to get crafty and make their own masks, instead of rushing to the store to buy them.

“I think people will need to make their own masks,” Professor Sutton shared.

“I don’t think there should be a rush on buying single-use masks, for example, and some masks that are able to be purchased … aren’t necessarily good for rewashing and reuse over days and days.”

By now there are a surplus of DIY mask tutorials from thrifty teens that’ll have you fabricating the chic-est safety precautions willed into existence. Who knows, maybe your secret talent lies within creating en vogue masks and you can commodify this global pandemic like a model capitalist.

Experts have debated the efficiency of masks, with many arguing that they only provide minor protection. I’m of the opinion that marginal protection is better than no protection at all. Don’t be a gronk about it — wear your mask, practice social distancing, stay the fuck inside and soon you’ll have the freedom to brag about how much better Melbourne’s nightlife is than Sydney.