Put away that Pinterest mood board because this is the only inspiration you’ll need to plan your big day. This divine couple has put out the wedding spread of the ages. Grazing platters are such a 2018 pastiche, how are a few humble figs and strips of prosciutto supposed to feed a troupe of wedding guests?
The spread on everyone’s lips is the very definition of tasteful minimalism. It featured squares of luscious individual cheese — you know, the ones wrapped in plastic — in two different types of cheese. It’s not clear what cheese was on offer but we’re putting our bets on a silky mozzarella and a biting cheddar. Of course, this couples testament to minimalism wouldn’t allow the cheese to remain wrapped in gaudy plastic, no, they unwrapped each slice of cheese.
Moving on to the crudités. The couple offered sticks of celery, carrots and melon. To top it all of they provided oranges chopped into thirds, with stickers remaining intact. Some may take the inclusion of stickers as a sign of laziness, those people are wrong. The stickers clearly paid homage to the late Andy Warhol and his commentary on consumerism.
For dessert, the couple served a tray of chocolate brownies complete with gorgeous yellow flowers possibly influenced by Van Gogh’s Sunflower series. This dessert truly invokes feelings of a warm, happy home. Precious memories of eating Betty Crocker icing out of the tub spring to mind.
Nobody actually enjoys a fruitcake adorned in hideous marzipan and fondant. Quite frankly the succulent tones of a Woolworth’s mud cake would do us just fine.
