Woolies is now selling pre-made Vegemite and cheese sandwiches

If there is anything the soul of Australia is missing, it’s readily available sandwiches. We’ve got brunch culture down to a T, but sometimes I don’t want to spend $22 on a wellness bowl brimming with various cured, smoked and fermented vegetables, seeds and grains.

As depraved as it sounds, sometimes all I want is to spend less than a fiver on the combination of egg mayo and watercress wedged between two pieces of brown bread. It looks as though Woolies are one step closer to making this Pret-a-Manger dream a reality.

Woolies has just announced that they are collaborating with Vegemite on a readily available take on the Cheese & Vegemite sandwich. I personally think that this is a vile sambo, but I also think it’s a positive sign that Woolworths may just be transitioning to Australia’s answer to Marks & Spencers.

We, the people, deserve to feel the liberty that comes with being able to fork out a couple of bucks at a servo and walk out with a sambo, a packet of crisps and a beverage of some variety. As a nation, we’ve gotten too posh.

The other day I went out, yearning to wrap my gob around a sandwich, and found myself forking out a ghastly $19 on some fucking marinated artichoke smeared onto the most ant shit serving of panini with a coffee. It’s just not a sustainable lifestyle.

I don’t want to have to sheepishly open my bank app to see if I’ve got enough cashola to splurge on something that’ll keep me satiated for half an hour. I want to be able to tap my card as if money is of no consequence. I want a fucken sandwich.

The Brag Media has always harboured impassioned views about the humble ready-to-go sambo. In fact, we once penned an entire manifesto defending the indefensible: The 7/11 sandwich.

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