One of the perils of same-gender dating is finding yourself smitten with someone who shares your name.
In my time I’ve known a Georgia and a Georgia, a Marcus and a Marcus, and a Clare who’s dated not one, but two Claires. It’s not entirely unheard of in mixed-gender dating; I’ve known an Alex and Alex, and I harbour a strong desire for The Bachelor and The Bachelorette to hook up so we’ve got Sam and Sam, but it’s a far more likely situation in same-gender scenarios. There’s even a Reddit thread devoted to discussing the benefits and pitfalls.
I’ve always found it fascinating, and had an unnecessary amount of questions for my same-name couple friends. I found myself swiping right on Lucys, almost purely because of their name, but it seemed like a distant fantasy.
Until I met Lucy.
Now I’m one of those people who dates someone with the same name as them. There are some highs, and some lows, and some myths that need to be dispelled (but mostly confirmed).
The first time we met someone together and they said, “Lucy and Lucy? Two Lucys! Well, that’s easy, only one name to remember,” it was mildly funny. The second time, I laughed out of politeness. Now, I still laugh because I’m a nice person, but seriously, we’ve heard it before. Almost every fucking day. It’s not only not funny, but it’s also highly unoriginal.
When a friend wants to talk to both of us, they can just say “Lucy!” and we both turn around. It happens. Though lately, I’ve stopped responding when people say my name, because other Lucy (‘Lucy Two’ as I affectionately call her, to her despondence) is far more popular than me, and more people want to talk to her. I recently found myself the only Lucy in the room, a rare occasion of late. Every time someone called to me, I ignored them, just assuming “Lucy” no longer signified me.
Putting aside the minor identity crisis in not recognising my own name as referring to me, having another Lucy around has its benefits. I can usually take most of her stuff and say, “But it’s Lucy’s! That’s me!” This is pretty fucking annoying of me, but luckily she finds it endearing.
Lucy has a pretty extreme habit of referring to herself in the third person (which one of us am I referring to?! Holy shit). This makes almost everything especially difficult as I can never tell if she’s talking to me or to herself. It does mean I can pick and choose what to respond to, though. And when she says, “Shut up, Lucy,” it never gets old to respond, “But I didn’t say anything!”
It’s also fun to fuck with people. A friend once confessed she wasn’t sure if it was enough to simply say “Hi Lucy” or “Hi Lucys” or even “Hi Lucii”, or whether she should say “Hi Lucy and Lucy” when she sees us. For a while we toyed with the idea of demanding “Lucy and Lucy” at all times, just to annoy everyone.
I’ve also thought about pretending there’s a subtle difference in pronunciation of our Lucys and demand everyone inflect slightly differently when referring to me.
We’ve joked that we should get married and take each other’s name, so she becomes me and I become her. I think mostly that would just be annoying for us, but also hilarious.
I’ve so far avoided the obvious and burning question. But yes, having sex with someone with the same name as you is awesome. I’ve previously never been much of a name person during sex, but now, saying my own name while fucking is always funny, and great for my ego.
The great takeaway from this grand experiment (kidding, Lucy, you’re not an experiment) is that having the same name will always be a funny joke for us, but it no doubt gets old for everyone else. Plus, if one more person says to me, “Wow, you have the same name!” I’ll strangle them.
This Week…
This Wednesday October 14 is Queerstories at Kings Cross Library’s Late Night Library, featuring stories from a bunch of fabulous Sydney queers, including Zoe Coombs Marr and Matthew Mitcham. There’ll be wine and music too.
This Saturday October 17 sees the glorious return of Heaps Gay after a two-month hiatus. This time at theBeauchamp Hotel, there’ll be Wild Sunset, Adi Toohey, Sveta and Cunningpants, as well as a bunch of performers.
And on Sunday October 18, Sydney Femme Guild, Dykes On Bikes and The Inner West Ladies Auxiliary are co-hosting a cocktail party at Miss Peaches.
