Last week, the editor of Bangladesh’s first queer publication was literally hacked to death.
It’s brutal, sad, and makes me feel incredibly lucky to be living in Australia. Life isn’t always great for queers here, but we don’t risk death just by existing. I edit a queer publication, and I can do that here without too much concern.
It also makes me wonder about how safe it is to travel as part of a queer couple.
Of course, this really depends on where you’re going, and there’s a lot of other important cultural differences to think about, and respect, while travelling (you might expect to be able to kiss your partner, gay or straight, in New York, for example, but the rules might be a little different in, say, Marrakesh).
In most parts of Sydney, I walk arm in arm with my partner. I’m cautious about it late at night in the city, or in the suburbs (but let’s be honest, how often do I venture into the suburbs?).
Travelling adds a whole other layer of risk, though. Particularly around accommodation. I think this is particularly tricky for gay couples. Because of a little thing called lesbian invisibility, two women travelling together can be read as two friends. And two female friends sharing a bed isn’t as culturally strange (particularly in the West). But two men sharing a bed? The idea that they’re ‘just friends’ seems less likely.
Two friends of mine travelling once arrived at their hotel only to find the ‘helpful’ concierge had ‘upgraded’ their double room to a twin.
There are websites devoted to LGBT travel to help you out, and the UK just released a warning to LGBT people travelling to certain US states that have just passed anti-gay and anti-trans laws.
But these websites don’t help protect you from microaggressions like my friends’ room ‘upgrade’.
My partner and I are going to Europe in June. We’re really only visiting big cities that are notably LGBT-friendly, so I assume we’ll be fine. We’ve booked a lot of Airbnb accommodation. Airbnb as a corporation is notoriously queer-friendly, with floats at Mardi Gras, ads for Pride, and even the slogan “Host With Pride” to celebrate queer events around the world. Though Airbnb can’t vouch for every host on its site, just as hotels can’t vouch for every concierge they employ (until, of course, a host or a concierge fucks up), there are measures in place to protect queer couples (not least anti-discrimination legislation).
I worry about travelling to a lot of countries that aren’t in the West – not just because I’m queer, and a woman, but also because of some of the colonialist implications of going to some of these countries and “finding yourself” (Eat, Pray, Love, anyone?), or the ‘voluntourism’ aspects of some of these holidays, which some have touted as New Colonialism. White people need to respect the cultures of the countries they’re visiting, and beware of cultural difference being exploited for touristic gain.
It’s complicated. I definitely don’t condone homophobia (or brutal hackings) anywhere in the world, but I also don’t expect certain cultures to flat out accept me holding hands with my girlfriend while I visit their sites of historical or cultural significance. That, however, I can avoid. But how much of our lives do we put aside out of respect for cultures that might borderline on homophobia? Should we stay in separate rooms? Bring men to travel with us? At what point are we putting up with too much?
I haven’t worked out the answer to that yet. That’s why we’re going to Paris, Amsterdam and Berlin. We’ll be fine.
[Photo courtesy Flickr Slash Arda]
This Week:
On Wednesday May 4, Birdcage turns four! Come celebrate at Slyfox with Unknown Associates, NatNoiz, Cunningpants, Domme, Astrix and Felicity Frockaccino. Get in early because it’s sure to fill up.
Then on Thursday May 5, head to Knox St Bar to check out the Bad Bitch Choir [below] in action. If you’re more into sports than choirs, on Saturday May 7, head to Sydney Boys High for round two of the Sydney Roller Derby League’s 2016 season. There’ll be a junior bout up first, so get in early to see the next league legends.
