Raw Comedy, the Melbourne International Comedy Festival’s annual open mic comedy competition, is back for another season.

The competition has a track record of unearthing some of Australia’s best young comedy talent, with past entrants including Chris Lilley, Josh Thomas, Hannah Gadsby, Peter Helliar, Ronny Chieng, Celia Pacquola and more.


The New South Wales heats are currently under way, with the National Grand Final to take place in April, and the winner scoring a trip to the Edinburgh Fringe.


We asked nine of the NSW contestants to send through their favourite one-liners, and here are the results:


1. Te Rina Tait: “The dating pool at a wedding in your 30s is the size of a Malibu Barbie pool – there’s only room for you and one plastic toy.”


2. Duy Yen Chau: “I’m against picketing but I don’t know how to show it.” (by comedian Mitch Hedberg)


3. Jake Cochrane: “Calling shotgun in the US doesn’t always mean you’re after the front seat.”


4. Trish Koutromdimos: “I’ve eaten dolphin. That’s right, I’m a monster. I’m the only person who sees ‘dolphin safe’ on a tuna can and gets disappointed.”


5. Belinda Hunt: “That reminds me of my husband Boris. God rest his soul. He’s not dead… BUT HE’S DEAD TO ME!”


6. Fenn Idle: “Recently, a herd of cattle ate all of a farmer’s marijuana plantation. The owner was forced to execute them. His reasoning: the steaks were too high.”


7. Geraldine Viswanathan: “The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.” (Demetri Martin)


8. Justy: “My name is Justy and I have an iPhone addiction. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve had to dress my son up in iPhone-themed colours so I’ll interact with him more. I need help! I have an Apple Watch but it’s just iPhone methadone.”


9. Elisa Cristallo: “An American friend said to me the other day, ‘I don’t feel like Italian food, what I really want is a pizza.'”

The NSW heats of the 2017 Raw Comedy competition run every Tuesday until Tuesday February 28 at The Comedy Store. Semi finals and finals continue until Tuesday March 21.

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