Have you been wondering how in the world this year could get even worse? 2020 has been a fucking year, and here’s ten more things that could possibly happen because who the heck knows what else this year could throw at us, right?
Take a quick trip back to memory land and remember how you were feeling on December 31st, 2019. Were you pretty ready for a new decade to start? Did you have all you resolutions in a row, and were ready to take on the new year?
Well, 2020 swallowed up those hopes and dreams and shat them right back out, right quick. January saw Australia ravaged by bushfires left and right, March threw the entire world into lockdown mode by unleashing COVID-19, and now there are protests left and right because yet another person of colour was killed in police custody.
With all this chaos in the world, think back to when the new decade first started. Perhaps you thought this was going to be your year? Well, 2020 has shown us that we can never anticipate what will happen next with so much shit being thrown at the fan on total oscillating mode.
So, want to feel a bit more panicky? Dive deep into our list of ten more things that could make 2020 even more of a shit show than it already is.
1. Aliens invade planet Earth:
Let’s be honest here, would it really surprise you if 2020 was finally the year we get invaded by aliens? Honestly, they’d probably just appear for two seconds and then nope the fuck out of here because we done fucked up.
Maybe they could teach us a thing or two about how to run a planet, and hopefully they’ll bring a few extraterrestrial psychedelic drugs along, too, because we need a little something something to get our minds off of the doom and gloom around here.
https://youtu.be/VBT68a56s70
2. That massive super volcano in Yellowstone finally blows:
Called the Yellowstone Caldera, underneath the lush national park of Yellowstone apparently lies a massive super volcano that has the power to obliterate the tri-state area, and cause ash to fall across over 50% of the United States.
Well, besides the total devastation it would cause, maybe it would convince Americans to stay the heck inside their homes as the virus is still tearing right through them.
3. Either Betty White or Queen Elizabeth II dying:
It’s been a long time coming for both of these women. Betty White celebrated her 98th birthday this year, while Queen Elizabeth II turned 94.
Probably the saddest of predicted events, but this year has been so sad already that we’d probably fall immune to the sadness it would bring if either of these iconic women passed away.
4. Donald Trump gets reelected:
Even though Trump thinks he’s “done more for Black Americans, in fact, than any President in U.S. history,” many, many, many, many would disagree noting that he’s a combover sporting Cheeto fart who doesn’t deserve another day in office.
Despite being impeached, and despite showing blatant disregard for being a true leader during one of the most trying years of modern U.S. history, it wouldn’t be at all surprising if he keeps office this year putting the U.S. through four more years of hell.
5. Then, Tony Abbot becomes Prime Minister again:
If we’re going to have one incompetent leader in the world, why not have two? I mean, we’re already doing not-so-great with Scott Morrison at the helm, but why not pop our own onion muncher back in charge and show the world how well we can really lead.
Maybe he can tell us again how “the boats have stopped” because that’s truly what we’re all concerned about right now, right?
6. Neighbours gets cancelled:
35 years on, it would be a crime to see Australia’s longest running TV drama Neighbours cancelled. Imagine the chaos that would ensue if there wasn’t a perfect combination of deceit, drama, and romance for us to binge on?
With lockdown over, at least if this show gets cancelled we can be entertained outdoors for once, but we’d have to settle for good ol’ sports, or something of the likes, as concerts are still off the schedule.
7. Nickelback end up as the only band able to tour world wide because their music holds COVID-19 immunity:
Concerts are still off, but imagine if they got put back on real quick because Nickelback holds the key to immunity, somehow?
You can’t listen to them on your iPod – nope, that won’t do. But, go and see the band in person and be granted complete immunity to the virus sweeping through the world. Yep, totally plausible at this state.
8. Sharks learn how to walk on land and start hunting out people:
Gonna happen? Probably not. Plausible within the year 2020? Definitely. Don’t just fear swimming people, it wouldn’t be a shock if sharks left the ocean to start hunting on land.
Why wouldn’t they? We’ve polluted the ocean so much that they could want sweet, human-tasting revenge. “duunnn dunnn… duuuunnnn duun… duuunnnnnnnn dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn dunnnn.”
9. Crazy Frog makes a comeback:
Remember that insanely annoying ringtone that everyone back in the mid-2000s decided was the best thing ever? Well, it wouldn’t be surprising if 2020 saw the comeback of this grey-blue irritating frog.
Wouldn’t it just be the perfect theme song for the insanity we’ve witnessed thus far? Just imagine rolling down the streets in the middle of an apocalypse with that tune blaring out across the land.
10. It turns out this entire year was just one big practical joke and we all fell for it:
God, how pissed off would we be? To be honest, at this point in the year, absolutely nothing surprises me anymore, so it wouldn’t be shocking what-so-ever if this year was just thought up by leaders around the world as a big ol’ practical joke.
Who could have possibly predicted that we all would have gone through this amount of craziness only halfway into the year? Something must be up, right?
