The genius writers on The Simpsons have supplemented the show’s universe with a dizzying array of fake products during the show’s record-long run.
Some of these products get entire episodes centred around them, while others are barely a footnote, unnoticed until the 20th watch of that same episode.
Here are some of the best products to feature on The Simpsons, and all feature in the OG seasons (1-15) which are, unarguably, the best and most worthwhile despite the ongoing longevity of the cartoon (all images courtesy of Frinkiac).
Krustry Burger Ribwich
A limited time menu at Krusty Burger, the Ribwich was advertised with the note “will cause early death” on the box. Unfortunately the animal they used to make tie Ribwich went extinct, but that left everyone wondering what it was. Krusty once responded to a question about if it was made out of pig by saying “think smaller, and more legs”.
Kentucky Fried Panda
A restaurant that appears just twice in The Simpsons, once when the Fast Food Boulevard is destroyed and another time Lisa-land log tower barrels through the restaurant, prompting Homer to say “Nooo! It was finger Ling-Ling good!”.
Malk
The Springfield Elementary cafeteria replaces milk with Malk, which Bart discovers when he can’t crack his fingers due to them being too brittle. Malk now comes with Vitamin R.
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Nuts & Gum
In a comment on the fact that white males aged 18-49 are responsible for some of the dumbest inventions, Homer’s idea to put Nuts and Gum together at last is referenced in one episode. We really wish that had made that origin story into its own episode though…
Scrabbleship
One of the best of many board games invented by The Simpsons, Scrabbleship appears to combine Scrabble and Battleship in a way that Homer really just can’t get his head around.
Brain & Nerve Tonic
Instead of beer, Mr Burns had his team of stars drinking Brain and Nerve tonic – “rich in proteins and electromagnetic juices”. Unfortunately it gave Ken Griffey Jnr a case of gigantism.
Chippos
One of the more popular junk food products in The Simpsons universe, Chippos feature a happy Hippopotamus and can be found in several episodes of the show.
Tomacco
An invention that Homer accidentally created by mixing seeds of Tomatoes and Tobacco, and then using plutonium to help the plants grow. Even though they taste terrible, animals, people and more become addicted to the Tomaccos, and a tobacco company eventually buys the idea.
Moon Pie
Sure this one actually exists in real life. But still to counterargue your point… what a time to be alive.
Creamed Eels
One of the only products left in the Quick-E-Mart when Hurricane Barbara hits Springfield. What the inside looks like is anyone’s guess. (See also Wadded Beef, Corn Nog).
