They say fashion is cyclical; what was worn at one period of time will inevitably resurface as a trend once again in the not-so-distant future.

With the explosive popularity of TikTok, the old adage really rings true as you swipe through video after video of its Gen-Z users donning outfits that look as if they were transported straight out of our own wardrobes circa 1998 to 2004.

Think the glittery-pink Bratz-style Y2K trend reminiscent of Mean Girls, or the eyeliner-heavy grunge looks that defined the ’90s, thanks to the rise of bands like Nirvana.

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“2004 called, they want their outfits back”. Credit: Paramount Pictures

In saying that, there are just some trends that should be burnt, buried, and left in the past forever – and there are some current trends that should never have been born into the world to begin with.

Which brings us here.

While fashion is subjective and you should be free to wear whatever the hell you want – you do you and whatnot – here are my thoughts on 7 current fashion trends that I believe should be banished straight into the depths of Hades, never to return.

Ever.

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2000s sunglasses

As someone who rocked speed-dealer style holographic purple Arnette sunnies as a 10-year-old and thought I was ripping, you should listen carefully when I say – 2000s sunnies just look incredibly naff.

Along with the more favourable trends of the 2000s (although those who grew up in the midst of this trend the first time around may suggest there were none), the 2000s sunglasses have somehow managed to swindle their way into the mainstream again.

I truly mean it when I say that these accessories really should be left in an early-2000s J.Lo clip where they belong.

Pink millennial cowgirl hat

Why Lily-Rose? Credit: Instagram

It baffles me that people are wearing this as a fashion statement when the cheap pink cowgirl hat that’s currently rotting in my closet was probably yoinked from some teen party I went to in, like, 2005.

Not only are they definitely one of the ~lesser~ trends of the 2000s that have made a comeback, but they also look like something your mum would drunkenly wear home after a night out on the town for her mate’s hens party.

Gorman smock dress

Look, I’ll agree that the patterns available for the Gorman smock dress are cute, but I just can’t get around the idea of dressing in a frumpy, shapeless “dress” that’s more suited to your creepy childhood doll than for everyday wear.

Bra with a jacket

While this can look good on some genetically blessed people, I honestly can’t think of a scenario in which wearing this particular fusion of clothing would be suitable.

Dinner? Nope. Picnic? The two-piece suit is too formal. A party? Maybe…?

Either way, this trend immediately reminds me of Sue-Ellen Mischki – aka the “bra-less wonder” on Seinfeld, who is not-so-subtly gifted a bra by Elaine, resulting in her wearing it without a shirt and causing a car crash after Kramer was distracted by the Oh Henry! candy bar heiress’ risque choice of clothing. So I guess that’s a potential issue, too.

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Sue-Ellen Mischke, the (formerly) bra-less wonder. Credit: Columbia Pictures Television

Clogs

I’m sorry, but I just really, really hate clogs.

I hated them in the 2000s, and I hate them even more now that they’ve made a (really expensive???) resurgence in the fashion world.

Honestly, I have no idea where my passionate disdain for the footwear stems from.

Maybe it’s that awkward clunking sound, maybe it’s the fact that they look like something someone would bring back as a souvenir from the Netherlands,  I don’t know. But my God, I hate them. Even the world CLOG annoys me.

Cultural appropriation headscarves

With society becoming more woke as to what is and isn’t okay to wear when it comes to cultural appropriation, I still see way too many women wearing cultural headscarves or turbans without knowing their cultural significance to certain ethnic groups.

Unless the headscarf is of cultural significance to you or you are using it for health reasons (like chemotherapy), it’s probably best to avoid it.

While there’s a fine line between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation, it’s always better to do some research into an item’s cultural significance and educate yourself on these matters – especially when we have a wealth of knowledge literally at our fingertips.

Whale tales

Whale that’s just great… Credit: Instagram

Ever since its debut in the ’90s, the whale tale – aka a purposely exposed g-string – for some reason keeps clawing its way back into fashion every so often, and I cannot for the life of me figure out why.

If it didn’t work when icons like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Christina Milian, and Christina Aguilera did it in the ’90s, it sure as hell isn’t going to work now – even if it is Tom Ford.

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