As we enter the first day of winter, our grazing platters are set to undergo a transformation from prosciutto and fig embellished chopping boards, to a tinned smorgasbord of fine biscuits.
I truly think that the soul-nourishing qualities of sharing a couple of biscuits and tea between friends is an underrated past time. There is something so quaint and wholesome about the ritual. It’s a social ceremony that makes life feel like a Mike Leigh film.
Arnott’s have caught wind that the season of the perpetually boiling kettle is amongst us, and has celebrated by dropping three new, dessert-inspired takes on their classic biscuits.
First cab off the rank is the Lamington Iced Vovos. Thank god the biscuit lords have finally woken up to the fact that the weird pink fondant strip on the otherwise holy Iced Vovo is absolutely vile. They’ve replaced that sickly slither with strips of chocolate, elevating the Iced Vovo to an almost perfect biscuit.
Next week have Mud Cake Shortbread Creams. I don’t really fuck with cream-filled biscuits so I can’t offer an objective take on the bicky. Though if this biscuit bears any resemblance to the classic Woolies mud boy I might reconsider my position.
Finally, we have the Salted Caramel Tart Scotch Fingers. I sort of think Scotch Fingers are a unfuckwithable biscuit that thrive because of their nuanced, buttery makeup. Salted Caramel, however, is a very perfect flavour profile, so perhaps the marriage of the perfect crumbly scotchy texture and the seductive salted caramel may make for a masterpiece.
One of our fellow writers and biscuit fiends will be indulging in all three of these naughty creations this evening, and will be coming back to you with an official review. So please, don’t let my own personal biscuit politics deter you. I am merely a woman devoted to the HobNob. We’ve got an Arnott’s expert on hand.
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The new drop will be available at Coles exclusively from June 2nd for a humble $3.