Woman lists 65 reasons she thinks Bali is better than Australia

An Australian woman who recently returned from a holiday in Bali has put together an extensive list of the reasons why she thinks the Indonesian island is better than Australia.

Kay Ward posted a list of pros and cons about Bali to the Facebook group Bali Bogans. The pros list only had three items, including being able to drink tap water in Australia, missing her pets and the lack of “crazy monkeys trying to steal” her stuff.

The pros list about Bali, however, was lengthy and included 65 reasons why she thinks the island is so great.

“All in all, I think a lot of us take holidaying for granted. After spending 3 weeks in Bali & now back in Aus, it’s made me really understand how simple and easy life is over there. We really take life for granted some days,” Kay said.

She added, “If you can, please get back over to Bali. Support the locals after covid. If you can only afford a $5 bag, do it. If you can afford a $5 tip every meal, do it. Tip if you can, shop as you please, book tours, see the sights, enjoy the luxury & understand the culture.

“Do what you can, say please and thanks, respect their culture, listen and laugh, be happy & enjoy everything Bali has to offer.”

Read Kay’s full list of the 65 reasons she thinks that Bali is better than Australia:

1. It’s frowned upon to walk down the street shopping at 10am drinking a beer
2. Randoms on the street don’t say good morning to me
3. People don’t offer me a lift for $1 even though I only have 500m to walk to the pub
4. It costs more than $10 to get my hair braided
5. I have to wash my own hair
6. My hairdresser doesn’t offer me a mani/pedi/foot massage for an additional $10
7. Hair treatments don’t come with a complimentary head/neck/shoulder/arm/hand/back massage
8. I can’t get 3 Red Bulls delivered to me in under 20mins for less than $10
9. Uber eats delivery fees aren’t 60cents
10. It’s not a compliment to be called “fat” in Australia
11. I get weirded out if a shop assistant old lady calls me “sexy” when I try on a shirt
12. I can’t barter for the price of said shirt
13. There is no morning price
14. Or afternoon price
15. No first customer or good luck price
16. Definitely no closing price
17. Lobster is a delicacy here
18. I can’t barter for the price of said lobster
19. Random people on the street don’t offer me massages
20. Valium/pseudo/viagra/vapes aren’t offered to me by randoms
21. Shirts cost more than $5
22. Food costs more than $5
23. Taxis cost more than $5
24. I can’t find someone to drive me around for 10hrs a day sightseeing for only $70
25. My local ice cream van’s tune is annoying & sets off the dogs in the neighbourhood
26. We don’t have a local doughnut man
27. It’s frowned upon to walk down the street shopping at 10 am drinking a beer
28. I can’t ride a motorbike down an alleyway, up a footpath, and in the opposite direction of a one-way street to take the quick way to the pub
29. Drinking on the beach on bean bags with a dj isn’t ok with police
30. Police can’t be bribed with $20
31. When I go shopping there’s no man who says onedollaronedollaronedollaronedollaronedollaronedollaronedollar not nowwwww maybe later as a tourist attraction and regardless of how hot and sweaty and disgusting you feel, it still makes you smile
32. I have to clean my own room, make my own bed, pay for toiletries, wash my own towels & take my own rubbish out
33. No one will blow up my pool ring for $2
34. Actually, wait. I just realised I don’t even have a pool
35. I also don’t have a rooftop pool
36. I can’t watch the sunset in my rooftop pool
37. I can’t sit at the pool bar, watching the sunset in my rooftop pool
38. I can’t drink 241 cocktails while I sit at the pool bar, watching the sunset in my rooftop pool
39. I have to go to the toilet and can’t pee in the pool (admit it, you’ve all done it)
40. Doesn’t actually matter anyway. It’s too cold to swim here.
41. Buffet breakfast when I’m hungover from too many 241 cocktails isn’t included in my weekly rent
42. My rent in Australia is more expensive than a 5-star motel in Bali
43. Hang on wait. I have to cook for myself and wash my own dishes?
44. It’s not socially appropriate to get drunk on a Monday night and watch a drag queen shows
45. I have to wash my own clothes, iron them, fold them, and they still aren’t as soft and smell as good as the alleyway laundries in Bali
46. Fruit isn’t as sweet here
47. It’s cold
48. I don’t have a local Beer Cycle on a Thursday night that will drive me around for 2 hours while I drink as many drinks as I can, cheering at people on the streets only to get off at the end of the tour and realise how many Bintangs and Smirnoffs I’ve demolished & realise how drunk I actually am. Then scootering all the way to Mexicola only to realise the place is a sauna & all the unlimited Bintangs have gone to my head & that going home is probably the best idea I’ve had all night. Then the next day when you’re hungover as hell, watching the Beer Cycle do its next tour & seeing a bunch of drunks in Hawaiian shirts & Bintang hats yahooing & you’re that sickly ill from the night before you sit & thing “what a bunch of bloody Bali Bogan drongos” forgetting that you were in that exact seat last night
49. I have to work. On a Friday. Hungover. After said Beer Cycle.
50. No one will deliver me Nasi Goreng at 2 am when I’m drunk.
51. Beaches here just aren’t the same as Nusa Lembomgan’s.
52. River rafting, quad biking, jet skiing, zip lines, hiring a scooter etc involve 20 pages of paperwork, waivers, deposits & credit card details. Yawn!
53. I have to walk a block or 2 to the nearest crossing/traffic lights instead of my security guard stopping the traffic so I can walk across like royalty
54. Massages are a “once a year” thing here. Not an “every night before bed” thing
55. People aren’t thankful or excited over a 20c tip
56. I have to listen to Karen’s whinge at the airport about a 10minute flight delay after they’ve just had a 2-week holiday & are watching poor airport staff run around like headless chooks due to being understaffed
57. I can’t raise my hand and have 5 staff run towards me at a pub to serve me. Apparently, there are no Aussies who want to work in hospitality these days. Not to mention I have to walk to the bar and get my own drink?
58. The chick at the local shop doesn’t call me “ma’am” every day when I buy my morning juice. Probably that “keep the change (of like a whole 20c)” that makes her love me so much
59. It takes me 30mins to get to the beach. Not across the road
60. It’s generally not a nice thing if people honk their horn at you while you’re driving here
61. If you’re late, it’s frowned upon. Apparently no such thing as “Australia Time”. I was late for my tattoo appointment the other day. Why? “Bali Time Baby… relaxxxxxxxxx”
62. Having the attitude “why not” in Australia, generally leads to dumb ideas, getting into trouble & next morning regrets. It is apparently hilarious whilst in Bali if you wake up with a penis tattooed on your finger after too many sunset Bintangs. Why not?
63. Seeing the fuel light come on in Aus gives me anxiety. Will I make it to the next servo on empty? Can’t just pull up on the footpath & have someone come & fill her up for you. Gotta pour that shit ourselves here.,
64. Life starts kicking around 8 am. Plus I’m on a 2hr jetlag adjusting back to Qld time. The alarm clock is going to get a good workout this week.
65. Did I mention it’s cold?

For more on this topic, follow the Travel Observer.

Get unlimited access to the coverage that shapes our culture.

Subscribe to Rolling Stone magazine

Subscribe to Rolling Stone magazine