A bunch of truly unhinged burgers will be hitting The Rocks this month. Whilst we’re all stuck in Aus for the foreseeable future, the food giants of Sydney are determined to soften the blow by taking us around the globe with their insane burger creations.
If you’re still recovering from the Eurotrip that never was, you’ll be able to get ya Deutchland fix from The Fine Food Store with their German Pretzel Burger. The burger is built on a foundation of two salty, pretzel-inspired buns, brimming with crispy pork belly Japanese schnitzel, with gherkins, iceberg lettuce, sauerkraut and spicy mayo. Definitely not one for those following a low-sodium diet.
We don’t know who in their right mind is missing British food, but if you’ve got a craving for Wetherspoons that you need satiating stat, Bakers Oven has got you covered with a creation that can only be described as evil. They’ve whipped up a pie burger — beef pie with a gravy milk bun, topped with crisp salad burger sauce. Let your freak flag fly ladies.
In a less godless take on British cuisine, The Tea Cosy will be flogging a burger scone. Two of their indulgent scone will sandwich chocolate cream, giant strawberries and chutney-like strawberry jam.
If you put a gun to my head and told me to rattle of a single item of Irish cuisine I’d be six feet under in a heart beat. Pony’s head chef Neil Nolan has harked back to his hometown and come up up with the Waffle Burger. The burger is comprised of waffles, a wagyu burger pattie, butter lettuce, dill pickles, cheese, house relish, tomato and mayonnaise. Sure,
The Mercantile Hotel has also put together a Diddly dee burger featuring a double beef patty, bacon, cheese, onion with relish and smokey Jameson aioli.
Caminetto Italian must’ve read that psycho Robert Pattinson GQ feature because they’ve taken the taste of Italy and offered a burger iteration of two staple dishes. First, the Spaghetti and Meatball Burger — beef meatballs and spaghetti, cheese, fresh lettuce, tomato and basil. The marriage of lettuce and spaghetti makes me want to hurl but what whatever gets your rocks off.
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They’ve also got the Pollo Parmigiana Burger with provolone cheese, grilled eggplant, lettuce, tomato, basil, guacamole and chilli mayonnaise sauce, and chicken schnitzel. Slightly less evil but the addition of guacamole is unnerving.
Now for a burger that genuinely sounds like something worth fucking with, Aslan Coffee has created the Balinese Crispy Pork Burger. Featuring crispy pork belly, corn coleslaw, house-made sambal matah and potato chips.
Whilst Sergeant Lok has unveiled three impeccable burgers. The Squadron, The Skipper and The Sarge. With a choice of either charred Tamarind glazed chicken thigh, sambal crumbed barramundi or shaoxing wine beef ribs.
Fortune of War have offered their take on Mexican cuisine, which reminds me less of my time spent in Mexico and more of my time spent in my apartment kitchen four cones in. Beef, cheesy corn tortilla chips and tomato wedged between a milk bun.
As burgers are inherently pretty American, The Glenmore Hotel are amalgamating two US cuisine staples with their Gimme S’More burger. T0asted marshmallows, peanut butter, strawberry jelly and gram crackers on a brioche bun. This sounds equally fire and body dysmorphia episode-inducing.
The Australian Heritage Hotel is holding it down for Aus with their Kanga Sanga. Grilled Kangaroo fillet, roasted capsicum and red onion, wholegrain mustard aioli, and watercress shoved between two crunchy sourdough loaves.
For more details on these morality-void burgers, head to www.therocks.com
