Chrissy Teigen has spoken out following a social media reckoning in which she was effectively “cancelled” for cruel past comments she made on the social media platform. 

The once-outspoken celeb has already issued an apology following the drama, however, many believed it wasn’t enough of an effort to make up for her trollish behaviour, which included DMing a then-teenage Courtney Stodden telling her to “kill herself”.

Now, the 35-year-old wife of John Legend has again spoken out in a raw Instagram post where she revealed she was “depressed” and “lost” following the ordeal.

“Iiiii don’t really know what to say here…just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter shit in real life,” Teigen began alongside a photo of her legs on the couch.

“Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race. But I do know that however, I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer.”

Teigen went on to say she feels “lost” and that she hopes “to find my place again.”

“I need to snap out of this, I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay. I’m not used to any other way!!” Teigen confessed.

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She continued, “Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot. Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks.”

“There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow,” the mum-of-two added.

“I  just needed an honest moment with you because I’m just…tired of being sick with myself all day.”

“I don’t even know if it’s good to say any of this because it’s gonna get brutally picked apart but I dunno. I can’t do this silent shit anymore!” she added.

“If you or someone you know has also been cancelled please let me know if there is a cancel club reunion because I could use some time off my couch! Thank u and goodbye I love u.”

Last month, after a lengthy hiatus from the Twittersphere, Teigen emerged to issue a much-anticipated apology following the backlash.

She took to the self-publishing site Medium, to post the statement, in which she references the apologies she owes to Lindsay Lohan and Courtney Stodden.

She began, “Hi all. It has been a VERY humbling few weeks.”

“I know I’ve been quiet, and lord knows you don’t want to hear about me, but I want you to know I’ve been sitting in a hole of deserved global punishment, the ultimate “sit here and think about what you’ve done”. Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven’t felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I’ve said in the past.”

Specifically addressing what she is referring to for any of the uninitiated out there, she said, “As you know, a bunch of my old awful (awful, awful) tweets resurfaced. I’m truly ashamed of them. As I look at them and understand the hurt they caused, I have to stop and wonder: How could I have done that?”

Teigen also addressed the disappointment she knows a lot of people have felt towards her and what she has done to move forward.

“I’ve apologized publicly to one person, but there are others — and more than just a few — who I need to say I’m sorry to. I’m in the process of privately reaching out to the people I insulted. It’s like my own version of that show My Name is Earl! I understand that they may not want to speak to me. I don’t think I’d like to speak to me. (The real truth in all of this is how much I actually cannot take confrontation.) But if they do, I am here and I will listen to what they have to say, while apologizing through sobs.”

To read the full apology, click here.

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