Throw your academic papers in the bin, everything you’ve spent your life working for is redundant. Domino’s has just shared a job opportunity on LinkedIn that will make you regret every iota of thought you’ve ever put towards your personal career achievements.
The good lords of pizza have just advertised a role hunting for the ultimate garlic bread taste tester. If you were looking for the meaning of life, this is it, baby. This is enlightenment.
For one day, and one day only, you can tap into your higher consciousness and live in a blissful, buttery haze. The job is open to everyone in Australia, and will involve you, and your gorgeous palette to make your way to Domino’s HQ in sunny Brisvegas for seven-and-a-half hours of chaotic indulgence.
“We’re looking for someone a little bit crunchy, but mostly warm and soft on the inside, to help taste test our World-Famous Garlic Breads at Domino’s Headquarters in Brisbane,” the job description reads.
There is a pretty hefty criteria to fill, so if you think you’ve got the chops to bring perfect garlic bread to the deserving people of Australia, we urge you to read on:
The ideal candidate for the job must:
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- Never met a carb they didn’t like
- Does not identify as a vampire
- Understands the perfect ‘crunch to softness’ ratio
- Is passionate about food, innovation and having fun.
Experience and qualifications:
- Minimum of 5 years’ experience in garlic bread consumption
- Has a detailed understanding of the pizza and garlic bread relationship
- Has working taste buds
- Has burned their fingers at least once not being able to wait for the garlic bread to cool down
- Has a history of reviewing other people’s food choices (solicited and/or unsolicited).
So if you have ulcers forming in your mouth as a result of consuming ungodly amounts of garlic, and your fingers boast callouses from grill burns — this is the job for you.
You probably didn’t think it could get any better BUT we have nay mentioned that this is a PAID opportunity. You literally are making cold hard cash money to shovel sumptuous loaves of buttery bread into your gob for hours on end. You will be the Bruce Bogtrotter of garlic-adjacent side dishes.
The nitty-gritty details:
- $30/hour for one day (7.5 hours) – pizza lunch included
- Return domestic flights if successful applicant is not within driving distance of Brisbane
- One night’s accommodation if same-day return flight is not available.
To apply, simply head to LinkedIn and follow the prompts. Good luck, my young prodigy. May your crusts be charred to perfection and your butter run gold.
