A comprehensive list of everything that’s vegan at Macca’s.

Bread

We’re off to a cracker start, the bottom level of the food pyramid is covered (are we still working off that thing?.) All buns at Macca’s are vegan, which is kind of surprising because they’re so god damn milky and plush. Ye ol’ English muffins are also vegan if you’re looking to replicate greasy spoon breakfast fare.

So you’ve got your buns, now all you need to do is fill them.

Sides

Fries: The single most important food group in the vegan diet. Maccas fries are vegan in Australia, thank god.

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Hash Browns: I don’t trust any adult that consumes a Maccas hash brown at their own will. They’re vile, greasy, and remind me of every regrettable night I had at eighteen.

Salad: If you’re not in a dire predicament (ie: a long-haul interstate drive) and you order a salad from McDonald’s, you deserve to be institutionalized. Lettuce and grape tomatoes… yum…

Condiments

Our DIY burger is looking beige. So far we have bread… a hash brown patty in lieu of protein… and perhaps a sprinkling of iceberg lettuce. The best thing you can do in this situation is tart things up with a condiment.

Five of McDonald’s sauces have the vegan stamp of approval: the sweet and sour sauce, BBQ sauce, Italian dressing, and tomato sauce.

The maple syrup is also vegan but whatever you’re doing with that I don’t want to hear about it.

Desserts

Cookies: The Maccas cookies contain palm oil, which I know is a point of contention for some vegans. Two boxes of these bad boys and a soy latte is a perfectly acceptable meal.

Apple slices: Apple is a dessert food. Do Maccas do little takeaway sachets of peanut butter? I don’t know. If they do, thank me later.

That’s literally it. I’m so sorry, you’re in for the bleakest meal of your life. Hopefully, the sinister forces art Macca’s decide to capitalize on veganism but don’t count your chickens, etc.

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