The internet is our great amplifier.

In earlier times, parents would simply burn their kids by loudly sharing embarrassing stories at family gatherings and play groups. Now that instinct to undermine and troll their kids can be shared with the world.

Here’s five classics of the art. I have the most issues with this first one.

Fake PS4 for Christmas prank

WHY do people do this? Basically the parents are gifting their kids a wrapped Playstation 4, but turns out it’s only a box filled with socks! What a prank!

Get it, because our culture tells you video games are the best possible activity for someone your age, and for a moment you thought your parents had thrown down serious cash to make it happen … but nah, they just wanted to cause total elation before triggering an atomic blast in your heart. You’ll never trust again.

Best part, they’ve just filmed it and shared their betrayal with millions of viewers. I’ll never understand why this is a thing.

Joke feeding them food beneath pizza

In a counter balance to the PS4 prank, this is just parenting 101. Using Jedi mind tricks to get your child eating real food is basic survival. This example of a little girl being fooled with pizza is a particularly harsh example we can all enjoy.

The ‘Get Along’ shirt

I’ve got this idea in my back pocket if and when we have another kid. For when they’re amping each other up, fighting, punching, whinging, whatever … straight into the Our Get Along Shirt.

My favourite aspect of this photo is that it’s gone viral for about 10 years. These kids are immortalised in this shot. Forever stooged by their parents.

Forgetting to pick them up

My son is only four so I haven’t had a chance to leave him hanging. But I still remember being six or seven, waiting at school to be picked up a solid half hour or more after every other kid had boarded buses and left the playground.

A friend of my mum was due to pick me up along with her kids, but didn’t realise due to some error. The point is, your child will never forget it. It’s part of growing up and becoming independent.

Homer Simpson is the all time champ of the ‘forgot to pick up’.

Trolling hard in the 21st Birthday toast

This is a long play. Two decades in the making. We’ve all been at a 21st when the mum or dad slays their son or daughter in front of all their friends.

It’s a hypersensitive age and embarrassment comes in many forms.

  • Excruciating stories of youth, like their toilet habits as a toddler, always great and unnecessary
  • Saying their new girlfriend/boyfriend is trash and you liked their old partner way more (helps if both are in the room)
  • Admonishing them for doing poorly in school or career
  • “We thought you’d have done more by this age but there’s still time”
  • Several minutes of naked photos on a projector

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