Hawthorn came into the 2018 AFL trade period with dick-all picks, and somehow managed to get Chad Wingard & Tom Scully in exchange for those dick-all picks.

This makes me believe there are AFL list managers at opposition clubs who definitely owe them a lot of money.

Genius strategy, Hawthorn don’t sell drugs for the tax-free revenue, they sell drugs for the trade leverage. Something I’m surprised Collingwood aren’t doing.

Proactive and out of the box thinking by Hawthorn, unlike the Swans this year.

The Sydney Swans must have made all their trade staff redundant after they got banned from trading for two years in 2014 for the sin of being too good at trading, and forgot to re-hire them.

I get it though, HR is tough – fuck doing interviews, they’re a headache.

Buddy Franklin and Kurt Tippett

Proof the Swans got banned for being too good at trading

Look out Hawthorn, you’re next on the AFL ban list after this year’s trade performance.

Unless of course Gil also owes them a lot of money too; we all know he likes to party.

Gillon Mclachlan in party mode

AFL CEO Gillon Mclachlan in full-blown party mode


This story is obviously satire.

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