It seems hollow to sit down and write a review of Heaps Gay’s Vivid party, the Festival Of Queer Delights, after the events of the weekend. What am I supposed to say? I had a great time, but it feels disrespectful to write about all the fun I had in my queer safe space, while my brothers and sisters in Orlando had theirs completely ripped out from under them.
At 4pm, the gates of the Factory Theatre opened, ready and waiting for 1,200 queers to come through. At the same time, some 15,000 kilometres away, Omar Mateen entered Pulse and started firing.
By 7pm, as the venue was filling up, and people danced outside while the Homosocial DJs and Levins pumped up the party, Mateen had been killed, and the last hostages released. In the first three hours of our party, a third of theirs had been killed or injured.
I didn’t learn of these events until I was home. On Monday, nursing my hangover, I lay in bed, glued to the news, following every update. The sheer happiness I felt being around my people on Sunday night, seeing my community enjoying itself, was taken from me as I lay there, devastated.
Later on Monday night, before attending Newtown’s vigil for Orlando, I met with friends at the Courthouse. I’d seen most of them the night before – shared a dance, a photo, a kiss. We cheersed to queers, and held each other close while we swilled our beers.
And that’s when I realised that the tired cliché that everyone tells you after events like this is true: we can’t let this defeat us. The best way to show solidarity with our queer and mostly Latino siblings in Orlando is to have a dance for them, to raise a glass, to continue to be queer, and exist in our spaces. To be defiant, as well as fabulous.
And so in a way, it’s kind of fitting that Heaps Gay collided with the events at Pulse. As I danced with my girlfriend to ‘Young Hearts Run Free’ in the Darkroom Dancehall (thanks Ariane), I felt totally safe, and completely in love with the community that danced around us. Later, when Yo! Mafia took over the main stage with her wonderfully infectious joy and the smooth moves of the 101 Dancers, I felt the happiness of the crowded room of revellers, all dressed in their glitter, their bondage, their fabulousness.
In our own little way, with the help of the Festival Of Queer Delights, we stood strong as a community. We danced, laughed, and most importantly, were outrageously queer. I’m happy that when I remember Orlando, as I will for the rest of my life, it will forever be inextricably connected to that night at the Factory – the songs, the lights, the laughter, the love; and now the solidarity, the defiance, and the knowledge that we are a global community that stands proud together.
So for that, thank you, Heaps Gay.
Image courtesy @heapsgay/Instagram
Heaps Gay – The Festival Of Queer Delights took place at the Factory Theatre on Sunday June 12.
