Johannes Kepler was a German astronomer obsessed with the mysteries of the universe. It’s easy to imagine him looking up at the stars, perhaps with a 1570’s drink in hand, gazing into the cosmos as he pondered the laws of planetary motion. Ultimately, he would go on to unravel these mysteries—using his innate understanding of mathematics to create groundbreaking theories on harmonic law, the movements of the solar system, and celestial theories. 

Numerous generations later, the mysteries of the cosmos still fascinate the human race. And while we still may be specks in a cosmic fog, drifting aimlessly through space on a small blue marble called Earth—some things in life never change. Namely: our love for good drink and conversation. 

Enter: Kepler’s Yard, the mysterious bar offering a space to indulge in exactly that 

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Upon entering Kelper’s Yard, you’ll immediately feel transported. The fit-out is moody, dripping in ambience. It’s the perfect place for the next date you want to impress (hidden Melbourne bars have an excellent track record for that) or to catch up with a section of your closest mates. 

Attached to the dance music institution 24 Moons, Kepler’s Yard offers an intimate counterpoint that still flows with late-night energy, albeit in a smaller, more hushed format than its 24 Moons partner. 

The bar staff are knowledgeable and would do Kepler himself proud with their exacting approach to mixology. They’ll happily talk you through their creations and explain the tricks of the trade they’ve used to distil flavours—ranging from sweet to bitter, but all perfectly balanced. 

The cosmically inspired selection includes the Slippery Saturn (rum, orange juice, lime and fresh mint), the Neptune Nip (Woodford reserve bourbon, vanilla and chocolate bitters), as well as the highly recommended Mercury Rising—a gin cocktail complemented with Elderflower Liqueur, Lime Juice and Fresh Mint. 

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It’s all soundtracked to a brilliant selection of tunes that prove the selectors at Kepler’s Yard’s pedigree. You’ll be just as likely to hear lofi hip hop beats, or interstellar electronic by the likes of Floating Points. 

 In a year in which we’re emerging from a pandemic-induced hibernation, venues such as this are where we’ll find cause to celebrate—to gather with friends and find our joy for nightlife once more. 

Could Johanne Kepler, in all his wisdom, have predicted a hidden bar would pop up in his namesake almost 400 years after he left this earth and vanished to the astral plane? Almost definitely not. But I bet he’d enjoy a drink here, at one of Melbourne’s premiere hidden gems. 

For more on this topic, check out the Food & Drink Observer.

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