Macca’s are back with their red hot 30 Days 30 Deals campaign, and fuck me up is it a scorcher.

The deal offers walloping discounts on The Golden Arches classics. Today, you can score a Big Mac for $1, which is just… value off its nut. If you prefer your Big Mac experience to be all bells and whistles, wait until tomorrow and cop two small Big Mac meals for $7. Or if you fancy yourself a Quarter Pounder kinda gal you snuffle down two small meals on the 15th November.

With Christmas rearing its ugly, debt-inducing head, there’s really no better time to keep it skint. Push your body to the absolute physical limits and treat this month like an advent calendar for acne and clogged arteries. The planet’s dying we may as well treat our bodies like a trash can.

You can suss all the life-ruining deals below:

1st November
$1 Big Mac®

2nd November
$7 2 Small Big Mac® Meals

3rd November
$3 Small Cheeseburger Meal & Extra Cheeseburger

4th November
$1 McFlurry®

5th November
$2 McChicken®

6th November
$2 Large Shake

7th November
$1 Large Fries

8th November
$1 Cheeseburger

9th November
$8 2 Small Quarter Pounder® Meals

10th November
$8 Mates Share Pack – 18 Chicken McNuggets® and two large fries

11th November
$1 Large Sundae

12th November
$1 Large Fries

13th November
$1 Cheeseburger

14th November
$2 Chicken McBites® & Small Fries

15th November
$8 2 Small Quarter Pounder® Meals

16th November
MCHAPPY DAY

17th November
$4 Small Cheeseburger Meal & Extra Cheeseburger

18th November
$2 McChicken®

19th November
$1.50 McFlurry®

20th November
$2 Big Mac®

21st November
$1 Large Fries

22nd November
$8 2 Small McChicken® Meals

23rd November
$8 Mates Share Pack – 18 Chicken McNuggets® and two large fries

24th November
$5 Small Big Mac® Meal & Cheeseburger

25th November
$2 Large Shake

26th November
$2 Chicken McBites® & Small Fries

27th November
$5 Small Big Mac® Meal & Cheeseburger

28th November
$2 McChicken®

29th November
$2 6 Chicken McNuggets®

30th November
$4 Small Cheeseburger Meal & Extra Cheeseburger