Sometimes you really just have to lean into being pathetic. I think it is virtuous and necessary to completely give up for a few days. Letting various unwashed mugs with rapidly-moulding teabags accumulate around your house, not brushing your teeth til way into the afternoon, it’s all liberating. There is one touchstone that embodies everything that comes with allowing yourself to be as wretched and deplorable as you can be and that is MICROWAVE BACON.
The concept of having to cook something from scratch is sometimes so dastardly and overwhelming. The whole ritual of julienning onions, fiddling with garlic skin, and having to stand hunched over a pan seems foolish when you could just press a few buttons and continue to binge Broad City.
Primo has introduced a total gamechanger for all us bohemian layabouts, microwave bacon. Yep, gone are the days of copping violent welts from splattering pellets of bacon fat. There’s no way I can lay this out without sounding like one of those dead-eyed soulless infomercial hosts that once had big dreams of becoming the next Phillip Seymour Hoffman and now have to flog Chamois to make a crust. So I’m just going to break it down for you with as little emotion as possible.
The microwave bacon takes thirty seconds to cook, you just pop it in the ovens sinister sibling on a plate, cover that with a paper towel and hey presto. I reckon you should go the full monty and microwave yourself up some scrambled eggs and have a full airplane style continental breakfast.
Primo’s Microwave bacon launched back in August and is available in supermarkets all over the country in 30g and 120g.
