The Yaraka Hotel in south-west Queensland has formally banned emus from entering the pub after consistent naughty behaviour from the menacing guests.
The emus, who were raised in the town, have become a tourist highlight. However, these silly birds have proven to be a source of torment for the hotel owner, Chris Gimblett.
Gimblett revealed that the birds had recently learned to climb the front steps, thus becoming agents of chaos at the Queensland pub.
“We didn’t really want them becoming patrons in the hotel,” he told ABC. “Because when they do get in here, they behave a bit badly.”
The emus have taken a leaf out of the Fagan handbook and are pickpocketing tourists, stealing food, drinks, car keys and engaging in other sinful activity.
“Their toileting [inside] is not particularly pleasant,” Gimblett revealed. “That’s the biggest problem — because they do toilet quite frequently.” Women do be toileting frequently.
To help keep the pesky bastards out, rope barriers have been erected at the entrance to the pub, alongside signs asking tourists to do their bit to keep the emus out.
Those these feathered fiends are still fanging for a froth, determined to bombard the fines establishment. “They still hang around each gate, hoping that they’ll be able to slip in when someone opens it up,” shares Gimblett.
Despite their enthusiasm to reign hell amongst the local watering hole, Gimblett reckons the odds are in his favour. “So far we are winning the war.”
Don’t be fooled by these pathetic, wiry, Yzma-ass looking Aves. Though they may look nimble and weak, they can prove to be quite dangerous.
“Even a very friendly emu can get aggressive … mainly in the breeding season,” revealed Stephen Schmidt, from Try It Emu Farm in Marburg, “People have been killed by them.
“I’ve had them chase me up onto the top of the truck.”
Anyone who’s ever stepped foot inside Featherdale Wildlife Park with an ice-cream cone full of kangaroo feed will know just how aggro these filthy birds can be. I experience a kind of mild traumatic shiver every time I hear a flap of a wing. I am haunted forever.
