Valentine’s Day is a beast of a thing. Whether you’re a romantic that leans into the cheesy glory of it all or a cynic the finds themselves reciting some “Hallmark holiday” spiel as if you’re a jaded Joseph Gordon Levitt at the tail-end of 500 Days of Summer, the season is sure to incite some kind of stress-induced dread.

So, in a valiant attempt to take the despair out of Valentine’s Day, we’ve put together a little guide on how best to spend the holiday in Potts Point. Whether you’re looking to induce heart-eyes in the one you love, or numb the pain of being totally alone, we’ve got you covered on all basis. So without further ado, here it is.

Flowers

Perhaps the only thing more gut-wrenching than not receiving flowers on Valentine’s Day is receiving a sagging bouquet picked up at the eleventh hour from a grocery store. You know the kind. It’s usually some kind of sickly buttery yellow number. With the sticky sediment of a price tag hastily removed gathering up lint.

Please avoid this at all costs. You’re better off splashing out the dosh this depressing affair would’ve cost you on a bottle of wine at dinner and getting so blissfully drunk your lover forgets the whole thing ever happened.

However, if you’re keen to impress, Potts Point boasts a number of sumptuous florists that cater to a breadth of budgets.

Poho Flowers

If you were wondering where all the lithe like women that walk around the neighbourhood clad in billowing linen were acquiring their decadent boutiques, wrapped in Tiffany blue paper, it’s Poho Flowers. The florist runs a little on the expensive side — but if you have cash to spend, an arrangement from here is a one way ticket out of the doghouse.

Grandiflora

Walking into Grandiflora gives rise to the feelings I imagine were experienced by Mary Lennox in Agnieszka Holland’s The Secret Garden upon discovering that her once desolate garden was beginning to heal itself. It’s another upmarket offering but hey, we’re selling dreams here.

Floreat

This Darlinghurst florist is responsible for some of the most whimsical arrangements I’ve ever seen. You can pick up a petite boutique for around the $60 mark, or splash out on something more opulent.

Harris Farm Market

If you, like I, am condemned to a life of desolate poverty — but like to piss your money down the drain on the finer things in life, may we suggest putting together a bouquet courtesy of Harris Market. On most days, Harris Farm has a dedicated florist store just outside the entrance. You’ll be able to pick up a respectable bouquet of wildflowers for as little as $20. They also have brown wrapping paper which, as we know, is the ultimate way to masquerade an air of skintness.

Kings Cross Markets

If you truly want to nab a fantastic deal, Kings Cross Markets boasts a flower store with the cheapest blooms I’ve ever seen in Sydney. The joint is cash only though, so come prepared.

Mangia!

What is Valentine’s Day if not a day to indulge in a truly magnificent meal. Below, some of our most romantic suggestions.

The Apollo

If there’s one thing I know to be true about women, it’s that they love to have photos taken of them unceremoniously cradling a martini in a chic, dimly lit restaurant. The Apollo is the perfect venue for that. It also offers some of the most devastatingly delicious Greek cuisine in Sydney. Don’t skip dessert (avgolemono pie, bisous bisous x)

Fratelli Paradiso

Ugh, this place just oozes European romance. If you’re lucky enough to score yourself an outside table you’ll be privy to an evening of role playing your most romantic alfresco dining fantasies. The scampi spaghetti is something out of this world.

Chester White Cured Diner

If you’re idea of romance is a John Wayne film, then Chester White Diner is the place for you. It’s cozy, homey, brimming with charm and the food is truly insane. There ain’t a damn thing better than sharing multiple plates of pasta, a charcuterie board and a handful of sublime cocktails between two. It’s also relatively affordable (as far as Potts Point goes…)

Yellow

A (mostly) vegan fine-dining institution that will have you audibly reacting to every single morsel you pop into your pretty little mouth. I don’t want to spoil anything but please, do yourself a favour and go for the set menu with matching wines.

Chula

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Sydney leaves much to be desired in the way of convincing Mexican fare. Chula does an excellent job. If you were looking to spend Valentine’s Day between friends, this is a cracking venue to do so. What better way to fill the void than by sinking a couple mezcal sours?

Gorging on takeaway at Arthur McElhone Reserve 

Another addition to the skint bitch fold. Lack of money should not mean a lack of romance. Grab yourself a picnic rug, a bottle of piss and indulge in budget-friendly cuisine in one of the most beautiful parks Sydney has to offer.

On your lonesome

I’m a vocal advocate for the healing power of spending an evening binge watching dreary Mike Leigh film’s in succession whilst shovelling gob-fulls of piping hot Pad Kee Mao into my mouth. Though if there was ever a night to go out on a limb and put yourself out of you comfort zone, let it be Valentine’s Day.

There’s a manic energy to February 14th that’s hard to identify, but one I have decided I will lean into. I’ve realised that everyone I could possibly embarrass myself in front of on this day of days is also, probably single. Which means they’re as big of a fucking loser as I am. So the stakes are low. Here’s a bunch of stuff happening in the area for all those as unloveable as me.

Dog Valentines at The Darlo

If you’re going to be alone on Valentine’s Day, let it be in the company of dogs. The Darlo will be hosting a day dedicated to all things pooches. There’ll be dog dress up, dog weddings, and a dog kissing booth.

If you find yourself staying there until night falls, they’re hosting a Valentine’s Day Love In. We’re anticipating good, and probably horny vibes.

Holy Moly

Ok, humour me for a moment. I know that suggesting Holy Moly is the corniest thing in the world. Doing things ironically is also the corniest thing in the world. But getting blind drunk and witnessing couples try their hardest to simulate fun at a garish, way-too-loud, mini-golf joint is hilarious. I’ve done it before. It’s good. You’ll leave feeling comfortable about going through this world alone.

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