We’re told often and from a young age that stereotypes are bad, that we shouldn’t assume something about someone just because prior knowledge has taught us to think that all men with beards and flannel shirts ride fixies. Not all lesbians adore Tegan and Sara, not all librarians wear horn-rimmed glasses, #notallmen, et cetera, et cetera. Sometimes, though, stereotypes can helpfully act as cultural signifiers.
As a queer woman, my outfits are often deliberately chosen, both because I like to wear plaid and double denim, but also as a way to tell others, “Read me as queer, please.” Fashion is a helpful signifier to communicate amongst minority groupings. It becomes harmful when those who are not part of that minority try to impose (or co-opt) that same stereotype.
It’s like a (not so) secret code. When I walk down King Street, I’m already in queer utopia, so I read most people as queer anyway. But when I see a woman with short hair, facial piercings and a flannel shirt, it becomes immediately obvious, because she’s adopted the lesbian uniform. If you’re talking to a woman in a bar and she’s difficult to read because she hasn’t signified with clothing or hairstyles, you might just say, “Oh boy, have you seen season three of Orange Is The New Black yet?” and gauge her response.
Of course, there are people who don’t fit within these one-size-fits-all lesbian cultural signifiers. But these stereotypes are perpetuated with a degree of ease that is disproportionate to, say, the number of fans Tegan and Sara actually deserve. I adore Tegan and Sara, but mostly because every time I listen to them I am reminded of my angsty coming out, of my lesbian mama who helped dragged me out of the closet, of being at concerts surrounded by other women all feeling as angsty as me… it’s not that I particularly like their music, but more that being a fan of T&S carries more weight than just enjoying a particular tune.
People adopt these stereotypes as markers of their identity, and they become popular as a result. Why else would someone wear a snapback at nighttime? It serves no functional purpose once the sun has gone down.
It’s not particularly nice, or helpful, to put someone in a box. But when you’re already in that box, sometimes it can be an easy way to gauge who else is in there with you. Before I came out, I was hesitant to cut my hair short, lest someone mistakenly label me as a lesbian. Now, my hair, coupled with my regular attire, means I read so queer I don’t even need to use the two girls holding hands emoji on my Tinder profile. My bowl cut speaks for itself.
Being read as visibly queer means I often don’t need to worry about coming out over and over again, I rarely get hit on by straight men in bars, and I feel more comfortable in my own skin. Of course, the downside is being more vulnerable to homophobes – when I venture out of my Inner West bubble, I get stared at, a lot.
The real people who stereotypes harm are those who are in the box, but can’t be signified in a particular way. Friends who don’t read as visibly queer often face an uphill battle (unnecessarily) proving their identity to both queer and straight worlds. I applaud these friends for their ability to resist the cultural pull of plaid or the five-panel cap after dark, because really, we all look kinda silly conforming to these stereotypes. But they’ve made my life ever so slightly easier.
And one last thing: if you have short hair and wear a Gorman raincoat, you’re in my favourite and newest corner of our little queer stereotype box. It’s warm and dry over here.
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THIS WEEK…
This Wednesday July 15 sees lesbian face Snapback hosting a silent disco in the beer garden (sorry, Cider Yard) of the Newtown Hotel, featuring regulars Astrix Little and Fingertips as well as newbies Tiny and The Gatling Gun.
Leading up to the very sad, very world-changing closure of the Exchange Hotel in August, this Friday July 17, Phoenix Bar is celebrating two generations of late-night jams, with DJ staples Matt Vaughan and Stephen Allkins reminding you of all your favourite nights in that dingy, loveable basement.
On Saturday July 18, one of my favourite parties returns to theOxford Hotel. Back for another month, Heaps Gay is playing host to all its favourites – Laprats, Le Fruit, Luen and a bunch of others.
Tegan And Sara photo by Chris Buck
