For lesbians, there is a certain pull to the music of Tegan And Sara. Their songs seem to cut through all the bullshit and hit you right at the centre of your sapphic soul.
You’re not really a lesbian if you haven’t had at least one Tegan And Sara phase. I remember my own: newly 18, singing along to ‘Nineteen’ as though as I was old enough to reminisce about an age I hadn’t yet turned, longing to meet a girl of my own who looked and sang like Sara but had Tegan’s wit (yes, they look different – no-one likes Tegan’s bottom lip piercing).
Tegan And Sara’s latest offering, Love You To Death, has reminded me that I’ve truly outgrown that phase. I find little to like among all the synth and bored-sounding voices. Perhaps it’s not a matter of growing out of it. Perhaps their format has just grown tired, and so I’ve moved on to bigger and better lesbian bands. One of those bands is Scabz, the shittest band in Newtown.
Full disclaimer: I live with one-third of Scabz. Another third lives across the road, and the final third just up the street. But that doesn’t mean I can’t compare them to Tegan And Sara with a decent amount of objectivity.
It’s hard not to – the mainstream media thinks all lesbians are the same (seriously though, why are so many famous lesbians called Ellen?), so when two lesbian bands come along, it’s hard not to look at them side by side and see the similarities.
First, there’s the floppy lesbian side fringes that both bands expertly sport. There’s a healthy level of plaid, tattoos and facial piercings present among both bands. Of course, appearance alone does not make for a good comparison between lesbian bands. But wait, there’s more, et cetera.
Both bands have excellent onstage banter. At the height of my Tegan And Sara phase, I would laugh along to Tegan’s jokes and Sara’s cute awkwardness and think to myself that if they didn’t make it as musicians, then surely they could become a comedy duo! Scabz also make funny jokes onstage, mostly about being bogans who love the Marrickville Metro, but if you want an objective opinion on the matter, ask Murray from The Wiggles – he thinks they’re funny too, and he doesn’t live with them.
But by far, the most obvious comparison between Scabz and Tegan And Sara is the subject matter they cover. This is no more apparent than on each of their latest singles: Tegan And Sara’s ‘Boyfriend’ and Scabz’s ‘Straight Girl’. They’re like two parts of the same narrative. Scabz start us off, telling us about the pretty girl on King Street in a cute summer dress, who of course, turns out to be straight, because as lead singer Von laments, “I always fall for straight girls”. Here, Scabz have met the girl at the stage where she is willing to flirt with a woman, but that’s about it.
Then we pick up the narrative with ‘Boyfriend’. Here, Tegan And Sara have finally convinced the girl to date them, though she’s still unsure about it all. “You treat me like your boyfriend,” they sing. Later, they complain that they “don’t wanna be your secret anymore”.
The ‘falling in love with a straight girl’ narrative is an almost quintessential lesbian experience. Both Tegan And Sara and Scabz have been able to tap into this almost universal feeling to pierce the hearts of lesbians everywhere – only while Tegan And Sara do it with synths, Scabz will do it with a thick Aussie twang and some VB.
The big difference between the two bands, of course, is their accessibility. While Tegan And Sara will be at the Metro after Splendour, it’ll cost you $70 (and it’s sold out anyway). Scabz, on the other hand, are almost guaranteed to play for free somewhere near you within the next week or so.
And on a personal level, I’ll probably never meet Tegan And Sara, but I get to play Wii with Scabz practically every day.
This Week:
Every Thursday, starting last week and for the next seven weeks – including this Thursday July 14 – The Shift is hosting its Lip Sync Battle Royale with cash prizes. It’s hosted by Krystal Kleer and Coco Jumbo, and if you want to enter, just rock up.
This Friday July 15, Homosocial is celebrating its second birthday, along with local legend Matt Format and Astrix Little. So head down to Secret Garden Bar and celebrate this little baby’s birthday.
And if you happen to be in Wollongong on Saturday July 16, my new favourite band (I swear I’m not getting a rent discount for this) Scabz are playing at the Queer & Now festival at Jane’s. It’s an all-ages gig with India Sweeney, Neon Hexes and Gryf & Cassandra.
