If Sydney’s lockout laws have taught me anything at all, it’s that people (men) who go out in the CBD are all vulgar people who king-hit others and rampantly abuse anyone and everyone in their path.
(When discussing laws that make gross generalisations about bar culture in Sydney, it seems only fair to respond with more gross generalisations.)
It sounds hellish, and it makes sense that people would want to escape that. Bar culture isn’t safe for a lot of people, including queers and women.
Queers escaped the clutches of burly straight men by making their own bars that these men wouldn’t set foot in. (Straight) women haven’t been as lucky, because gays (paradoxically) have had homophobia on their side to keep these people at bay. So, for some time, women have been seeking refuge inside gay bars.
This phenomenon has led to a huge range of issues, rules and regulations. Essentially, the gay men complain the straight women are invading their space and not respecting them; the women complain they just want to go have a good time without being creeped on, only to feel the wrath of gay misogyny. Gay men cry, “No girls allowed!” while women respond, “That’s discrimination!”
Last year, the GH Hotel in Melbourne closed off hen’s nights without a booking, and those that did book were fenced into a little hen’s pen. I’ve heard of groups of women being refused entry at Stonewall. On the flip side, The Shift Bar welcomes hen’s nights, and women generally, to come admire their topless waiters.
Earlier this year, I was DJing at a lesbian party, and my straight friends who came to watch me play were almost denied entry by the bouncer, because they would have been violating the safe lesbian space the party was supposed to be.
I can understand this argument, but problems arise when it involves the policing of people’s sexuality based on how they look, as well as some kind of subtle acknowledgement that straight women can be safe elsewhere. The reality is far from this, though, and women often aren’t even safe in gay bars (seriously, gay guys, just because you don’t like boobs doesn’t mean you’re allowed to grab them).
That doesn’t mean women should automatically be allowed into gay bars. Hen’s nights entering a gay bar while gay marriage is still illegal is somewhat distasteful, as are the screams of delight men face from women when they are trying to share a private moment on the dancefloor.
This trend is broadening now, too. Gay parties often have a huge straight contingent in attendance. And while this is often indicative of a more inclusive culture, where even straight people can recognise that gays throw the best parties, and everyone can enjoy a relatively safe party away from the dudebros, it’s not always the case. I’ve written before about the invasion of King Street by beige people who make comments like, “Don’t go down there [to Tokyo Sing Song], there’s a dirty man in a dress onstage.”
I’m all for more inclusive party spaces, where women, queers, people of colour, people with disabilities and anyone else who doesn’t feel safe around king-hitting dudebros can be free from them, but there needs to be respect for the space you’re in, and an acknowledgement that maybe you’re a guest in someone else’s space (and if you’re not a guest, that doesn’t give you the right to treat the guests like shit).
So hens, perhaps acknowledge that your bachelorette celebrations in a bar full of people who are legally unable to do the very thing you’re celebrating is pretty distasteful. Gay men, respect the bodies of the women who enter your spaces. Straight people, recognise that you’re a guest in a queer party (like the guy who once apologised for wearing a suit while I was in glittery lycra), and basically all bars in Sydney need to do better to ensure their spaces are welcoming of people of colour and people with disabilities.
And dudebros, stop hitting each other.
[Main photo: Bex Wade /flickr.com/photos/bexicle]
This Week:
On Wednesday October 28, Birdcage is doing a special Halloween edition at its regular haunt, Slyfox. It’ll feature Sveta, Cunningpants, Betty Grumble [above]and Mira Boru.
The last Friday of every month is the Museum of Contemporary Art’s Artbar[below], and this Friday October 30, feminist art collective Hissy Fit is curating. The event also features Sveta, Justin Shoulder, the harbour view, and a bunch of great contemporary art.
[MCA Artbar photo by Jacquie Manning]
Saturday October 31 is Halloween, and so The Red Rattler is hosting a Mean Ghouls themed party. Check out L’Oasis, Yung Brujo, Destiny’s Chill, DJ Discount Variety and a bunch of amazing performances.
